Wednesday's Words and Lyrics: Brotha by Angie Stone

He is my King, He is my one
Yes he's my father, Yes he's my son
I can talk to him, cause he understands
Everything I go through and everything I am
He's my support system, I can't live without him
The best thing since sliced bread,
Is his kiss, his hugs, his lips, his touch
And I just want the whole world to know, about my..

(Chorus)  Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
cause you’re my
Black Brotha, strong brotha, there is no - one above ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
only my
Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
cause you’re my

He's misunderstood, some say that he's up to no good around the neighborhood
But fo' your information - alot of my brothers got education             (now check it)
You got ya wallstreet brotha, ya blue collar brotha,
Your down for whatever chillin on the corner brother
A talented brotha, and to everyone of yall behind bars
You know that Angie loves ya

Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
cause you’re my
Black Brotha, strong brotha, there is no - one above ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
only my
Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
cause you’re my

You mean so much to me, you give me what I need,
I'm so proud of you (I said I'm so proud of you)
I love you for stayin strong, you got it goin on
I'm so proud of you (I'mmmmmmmmm)
Going through thick and thin, brothas you gonna win
I'm so proud of you (I said I'm so proud of you)
Whenever you facin doubt, brothas gon work it out
I'm so proud of you (I got my shakable faith in ya)

Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
cause you’re my
Black Brotha, strong brotha, there is no - one above ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
only my
Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
cause you’re my

Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
cause you’re my
Black Brotha, strong brotha, there is no - one above ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
only my
Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
cause you’re my

White Men Can't Jump

Freckles may consider a white man test drive in 2010 - LOL.

Don’t get me wrong or have me misunderstood. I hella love black men but I am trying to be open to something new or simply open my mind - broaden my horizons a bit. And really, it is just a consideration at this moment. I will not be on a white man hunt nor will I be giving on brothas at all.

Honestly, here is where I am coming from on this subject. I grew up in Las Vegas, NV in a predominantly white neighborhood. My first crush was a blonde hair blue eyed boy named Jesse Marshall who lived across the street. We played together all the time and he ended up being one of my best friends. I didn’t even really have any black friends outside of my parents’ friends’ kinds that would come to visit from out of town until I got into the 6th grade. In Las Vegas, you attend 6th grade center which is close to downtown, so I was bussed to school and that is where I met the boy who would be my first tongue kiss - Marshall singleton (chocolate juicy lipped brotha that sealed my infatuation with dark brown skin). Middle School in Rockford and High School in Los Angeles - both predominantly black and College at the illustrious Fisk University, HBCU - fell hell in love with brothas. Since then I have not really been too open to dating others (anything other than brothas). So, why limit myself? If I really want to be considered open minded even if my preference is Black men. Why limit my options? There are white men that could be wonderful options if he is truly interested in me...genuinely so why not give him a chance or at least get to know him the same way that I would get to know him the same way that I would a black man?

Now on the reverse

They are not better and some of them ain't shit too. Folks have issues no matter what their race/color. I am not going on a hunt for a white man but if the opportunity presents himself, I may be open to him; After all I may make a new friend.

Either way, I love men and no matter black, beige or white - I like to admire them all and there are a few that make me wanna...

ladies, enjoy the eye candy....

Freckles Over and Out!!!

30: The Reinvention of Me

Yes, well I am so thankful and ready to let go of the woman that I was in my 20’s. My 20’s were full of growing pains and what we will call CHARACTER BUILDING EXPERIENCES. My 30s are going to be so much better. I plan on reinventing the woman I was in my 20s and here are a few things that I have realized.

Here is my Flirty 30 List:

1. I can truly say that I have seen God move in my life. There were several times in my 20s when I thought that I couldn’t make it or couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. He brought me through and is always in my corner – TRUST and FAITH.

2. I now like the reflection that stares back at me in the mirror and can say I love her.

3. Every time that I look in the mirror and see my daddy. I think about him and wonder if he is proud of me and I even stare in the mirror sometimes and feel him looking back at me. It brings me peace. When I lost my father, I lost a piece of me but the reflection in the mirror gives me hope in grief.

4. I am trying to find my passion as far as work but UNEMPLOYMENT will do that to you. I have worked and have had a wonderful career where I have made lots of people lots of money. I have learned a lot and taken good notes. I have also been unappreciated, overworked and underpaid but I have made some strong relationship too. However at this moment Freckles needs a job!

5. I now understand the saying be careful what you speak – as the journey to the 30 came about. I recognized that there were some things (love, people, feelings etc) that I was not going to take into 30. I said it and said it believing that it was going to be a grown up things that would just people and possibly some not so sexy habits. However I did not realize that it would be my father and my job. Both were very life changing and could not have imagined it was going to be like this but I will embrace this change and be a better woman because of it.

6. I am more like my mother and father than I would have ever expected. My mother is an awesome woman and I blessed that she is my mother. (thanks mom – she reads my blog too sometimes).

7. I enjoy taking pictures of myself at different angles and in different moments. I like to take pictures for sharing and some for private. Once upon a time I didn’t think that I was good enough, pretty enough or important enough but now I am and I am worthy. So now I suppose that it is why I love taking my picture of ME.

8. I LOVE Shoes!!! Stilleto Queen. I like them high, strappy and super sexy – however I have not had the opportunity to Get In but that is another conversation. (FULL TEETH SMILE) Shoes make me feel good. I have been through a multitude of sizes over the last 10 years. Again, my 20s – ugh! Ladies, check out my blog on that. I am sure that you will all feel me on that subject.

9. I try to keep a notebook in my purse at all times. Just in case I hear something or feel something worth possibly writing about. I have a number of topics that I would like to write about and keep them in my notebook with notes. It’s like carrying a baby. Some stories you have to nourish and hold onto until they are ready to deliver.

10. I have a hard time smiling through pain and not showing my emotions on my face. I hope that this is something that I will grow out of a bit in my 30s but I do see it happening anytime soon. I am going to work on controlling it better.

11. I am a recovering grudge holder. I have moment where I feel the way that I feel and have a hard time letting go. When I feel like I have been wronged I hold onto it even when the grudgee has moved on. I have let go of a lot of things that I tried to hold onto in my 20s. I am glad that they are not coming into my 30s.

12. I am sometimes overly flirtatious. Too sensual and too touchy feely. It sometimes turns into too sexual but that is possibly a blog within itself so I will leave that at that.

13. I am so blessed to be surrounded by good people. I mean truly genuine people that have loved me in spite of me.

14. It is very easy to be negative and often a little harder to be positive. I succumb to the negative sometimes but try to find a way to pass through it. There are so many things to be thankful for in life. The simple things like waking up and being able to do breath, walk, see or hear. I have often found myself concerned about what I do not have or cannot do. I lose sight of the little things. In my 30s I will be sure to speak what I am thankful for everyday.

15. I am a bit of an attention whore but DON’T JUDGE ME! Lol. It is not as bad as it use to be but it is what it is and I recognize this thing about me.

16. Flaws can be Fab – there will be a blog about this one day but right now it is still in the womb.

17. I am more in tune with my strengths and weaknesses than ever before.

18. I haven’t always loved me but growth is an amazing process.

19. I can appreciate finding love and losing love and I look forward to finding love again.

20. I don’t have a ticking clock and I have come to terms with it. I am not particularly desiring motherhood. My mother cannot appreciate this fact but not every little girl grows up to want to be a mother but I do want to be a wife. If the Lord blesses me with a husband it may be negotiable but other than that – I’m Good!

21. I believe in being discreet. It is not on the sneaky tip but there are something and situations that are not for all or anyone to know.

22. The truth sometimes hurts but does set you free. Once upon a time I was insecure and felt the need to be validated by things, people or titles. Once I accepted that it was not about the things or people and moreso of a need that I thought I needed – I was set free. It hurt and hurt other people but it’s not always about them.

23. I can no longer apologize for the past. It has happened and there is nothing I can do to change it. If I hold onto it any longer I will not be able to move forward.

24. I am entitled to feel how I feel. (as in period)

25. I am addicted to Facebook but having a hard time getting a handle on Twitter.

26. I often wonder if I will ever grow out of being boy/man crazy. I love men!!! Especially black men. I do not want to discriminate but I love brothas… mmmmmm!

27. I am still trying to let go of regret – this is a work in progress.

28. I love Charms blow pop. I believe that I have an oral fixation. It is mainly when I am drinking. I always have them in my purse.

29. When I love I love hard and don’t like my love to be mishandled but I am more open to it than some.

30. George Bernard Shaw said it best “Life isn’t finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself". I have never had a problem with turning 30 and in fact I embrace it. I believe that it will be a better than my 20s and I am going to be a better woman.

If I needed you to replenish my faith in brothas - Could you?

If I needed you to replenish my faith in brothas

Could you do it?

Well… Could you??? Not that I don’t have much faith in brothas but I am curious to know if I am worth you restoring my faith… I believe that I am. Hmmmm… I do not think that I am asking too much of any man. Would you be the man that I need you to be to me and for me? Will you share your heart with me? Will you share your aspirations, motivation and inspirations? Will you give me you? Could you make me feel…? BACKGROUND: Once upon a time men and women courted one another. There was a time when the little things made a difference. What happened to that? We identify one another by status, organizations, education, beliefs. I am not sure if this makes sense to anyone else… but I am tryin to pull it out o my head clearly. Ok. There was a time when a woman’s worth was priceless. Like property, some women do not recognize their worth and just settle to exist in this world… (Bringing down the property value). Always those few that do not appreciate a man that does great things to fulfill happiness. Saying that to say. I was sitting at my desk listening to Jill Scott (Who Is Jill Scott?: Words and Sounds, Vol. 1). Yes I am still bumpin that CD. It was a great CD. Now that I can appreciate love, thoughts and emotions little more. I am really feeling it. But really… as I was saying… I was listening to Jill and one of the songs near the end of the CD came on… “Show Me”. This song sort of got me today. I finally listened to the words. I am one to always feel inspired by lyrics or poetry. I love the possibilities of thoughts or each person’s point of view. There is something magical about us reading the same line and getting something totally different from it…. SIDETRACKED. Constantly talkin' bout how muchYou love me want me need meYou told me stop talkin'.No more conversation necessary The words spoke to me differently today. In reflection with my dealings with men (black men), I have learned that there are things that are discussed in the beginning. Some of us (women) say what we believe to be the right things at the moment and not necessarily our truth as we see it but we want the man. We have an expectation of we want of brothas. I have always tried to be upfront and honest in most instances. The few times that love crossed my path, it felt good and special but never truly spiritual now that I think back. I tend to give me all to a man. Not necessarily a bad thing but when it is not reciprocated… Again, I say, I am not sure if this makes since to anyone else but… we shall see. When I love. I love hard. When I want you part of my world, I attempt not to question it. When I am involved with a brotha… it is never a question as to how I feel. I tend to sometimes wear my emotions on my sleeve. At this point in my life, as for relationships are concerned - I am not settling. I can not tell a man how to be a man nor can I tell a man how to be my man. He has to show me. If you love me and truly believe that you love me, show me. If you love me, really love me, there should not be any issue with letting me really know you – giving me the opportunity to love you back. Have you ever been so into someone that you can feel them when they are way? MAGICAL, right??? Then compare that to being so into someone that only give you a little bit. Only lets you in a little bit. So into someone that holds back from you…

Jill sings…Your word is love but you push me Away and won't say whyYou show me your exterior I need toSee your interiorI needs to beAbsolutely clear wit cha if we areTo eva stand a chanceIt's the last dance. Don't cha see? Show me the warrior you're born to be

If you love me like you say that you do, there should be no problem fighting for our love right??? I mean really… Is some love really worth fighting for? Is that truly part of the foundation? When building a house, they clear the place of whatever was there first, and then they prepare the ground for the cement. The preparation is hard. It is full digging through all the matter that has grown tough and hard like old clay. After all that has been dug up and prepared – then the new foundation is poured, the cement. It takes some time for that to dry and get hard but once it does it ready for the house to be built on top of it. If you have ever paid attention, the development of the ground takes the longest to get together.

RELATIONSHIPS – I believe are the same way. It takes some time to get through the baggage then once you move past that it takes some time to get to know w person. You learn them and their ways. If you are blessed to make through that time then you are ready to build your house. So through all of that… Isn’t it worth having your home? Something that you call your own. You love it… right??? You do whatever you can to make it better. Why not the same care for a mate??? If I, being the woman that I am honest with a man, truly honest. Then there is an opportunity to succeed. If I am not feeling a return on my investment, where does that leave me? MY REFLECTION: If you love me and you want to be with me. You love with all my faults… truly believe in what are developing. What is the problem with letting me in your world? It should be time out for what you want me to see. Here I am – nakedly me with all my faults and potential. Where are you?

Anything worth having is worth working for and it sure is not free.