Thursday, April 12, 2018

Unloaded: Betrayal of the "best" dude

Betrayal has a way with toying with your psychological process of dealing with people and sometimes takes you out of your character.  It not only hurts but is painful in a way that changes the dynamic of your spirit.  It is the slow uncomfortable screw that tends to linger without hope of pushing through the surface.  There so many questions and not enough answers.  It is the effect without any cause.  It is the lack of logic the taints your emotions.  I have been betrayed and taken for granted in the worse way by a person that I not only loved and cared about but someone that held in high regard as my extended family.  This person has taken my heartfelt love as a weakness and disrespected it in a way that cannot be forgotten at this moment is not forgiven.  Now I need to release these emotions.  They are no longer conducive to my being.  Again, it is a process that it is not taken lightly as this baggage is unloaded.

UNLOADED:  After over 20 years of so called friendship, I will no longer be needing your presence in my life.  I will accept and recognize it all for what it was, a moment in time when I thought that you were a stand up dude.  A dude that was supposed to be the best in all attributes of what was known as friendship.    Once upon a time you were respected and appreciated.  There were times that you were the one that turned to for guidance and/or a listening ear.   I was your secret keeper, voice of reason and even good for a long walk.  There was a time when taking care of the body was important.  There was a time when the heart was real.  There was a time that I never questioned your intentions.  We confided in each other in a way that more family the friend.  There were what I thought were real heart to hearts of aspirations, dreams and desires.  I thought you were better than this and I expected better than this with you.   There were plenty of family events, birthdays, wedding planning and even the tears when I moved to Atlanta.  It all feels like it was a fallacy.
We were the dynamic duo for time and even had some deep heart to hearts about what were suppose to be future endeavors. We went through life with a few bumps in the road but found our way back to friendship.  I missed you in that time and found a way to let you back in.  We were family.  Our family was family.  It was suppose to be all good.  We were supposed to be a forever kind of good, so I thought.  Your blatant disrespect for my family is a new all time low for you and I have to admit that I am more than surprised.  I would have never believed that you were such a liar, manipulator and deceiver. I do not know what is going on in your head but I cannot believe that your heart is any good.  Your word means nothing and I just do not understand.  Somewhere you got lost.  The connection drifted and you changed or maybe you didn’t change but became comfortable with your faulty character.  You lost your moral integrity.  You got the game twisted.  You lost the love and the respect and in return there is no respect.

I reached out on more than one occasion expressing how I felt and tried to see if the dude that was my best dude for so many years was still there and nothing came from it.  Even once you claimed to be sorry and that you were going to move forward you did not and have not.  It sucks that this is who you are but most of all it hurts.  My forever friend who would never do anything to hurt me or my family did just that in a major way and has managed to show no remorse once however.  Wow.  I hope that it was worth it.  I hope that you move on with your life and continue to disregard my being.  I no longer wish to know you or your representative.  There is no need to ever have any additional dialogue about anything ever. I am releasing you and all of this unnecessary drama that you have created.  I hope that all recognize you for who you are and avoid any interaction with your bull.  Thank you for showing me who you are. Peace out dude.

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