Random Relationship Reflection: Happy Birthday Old Love

I thought about you all day.

On this day - your birthday. I couldn’t decide whether or not I should contact you especially after our last conversation which didn’t go as I had envisioned. I am still not quite sure if I am suppose to feel some kind of way about it but either way it was what I wanted, to hear your voice. I guess this is how this is suppose to be.

I never really knew what it meant to let go of you and for you to let go of me since once upon a time there was so much love in my heart for you which hasn’t completely left me. I couldn't comprehend at the time how it was going to feel or how much I was going to miss you.

To this day you have not ever really been too far from my thoughts and I always hope the best of God's blessings for you. I continue to pray for you, your heart and your dreams. I want nothing but the best for you in life.

I am continually thankful that I was blessed to experience us and had it been another time it may have been more successful. I learned so much about myself due to you and for that I am so thankful. I hope that today was good for you.

Happy Birthday Old Love.

Happy Birthday Daddy (Rest In Peace)

Dear Daddy,

Sometimes I sit real still and quietly hope to hear your voice.  These are the moments that I realize how grateful I am that I had a wonderful man in my life.  A man that always made me feel special and loved me more than I have words to describe.  I am so blessed.  There are so many young ladies out there that are not blessed to have such and I will always be continually thankful that God chose you to be my daddy.

You know I wish that you were here.  There are a few things that I would like to run by you for your guidance.  I miss that about you.  You were a good listener and you didnt really say much until I got it all out.  It's funny looking back at some of those late night calls when I was paniced or freaking out how calm you were.  I took for granted that you would always be there to comfort me or even save me from myself.  I need that right now.

 I often wonder if you can hear me when I talk to you.  You see so much has changed since you died.  I have changed. I am not as outgoing as I was to an extent.  My emotions are hot and cold. I am still heartbroken.  My relationships have changed due to the my rollercoaster dynamic.  I am still having a hard time redefining me.  A hard time developing a new normal.  I didnt know that going on without you was going to be this hard and some days are better than others. I miss you more than anything and I just want to not be broken.  I want to hear your voice. see your smile. feel your love.  If only once more. I wish that you would come to me in my dreams and just tell me that you love one last time.  I wish that I didnt feel as alone as I do without you.  I wish that a piece of me wasnt gone with you.  I wish that some thoughts of you didnt take my breath away.  I wish that I could tell you Happy Birthday to your face.

I know better and I am going to do better.  I am going to do my best not be sad today.  I am going to do my best to not just dwell in my grief. So, on this day I honor you and your memory.  I cherish what I had and hope to see you in my dreams.  I look forward to seeing you again and hope that I make you proud. I miss you and love you. 

I love you daddy, Happy Birthday!!!

Rest In Paradise.

Freckles

Happy Birthday Daddy Freckles - RIP

I cant help but to admire little girls waking hand and hand with their fathers.  To see the smiles on their faces as they feel so safe and secure.  There is something very special about the love a girl has for her father.  After all, her father is her first true love. 

While working at a bank a young lady came in and said that she wanted to surprise her father.  She hadn't seen him in a few months. She asked me to get him to the reception desk but not to tell him why.  I paged him and he obliged.  Once he came up to the front he saw her and he was overwhlemed with emotion as was she.  They embraced and in that moment I felt their love.  It was special and so genuine.  In that moment, as happy I was for her I was a little jealous.  I wish that it were my moment with my father. 

There is not a day that I do not think about him.  There is not a day that I do not wish for an opportunity to love on him.  It has been 2 years since his death and the pain is still very much there.  There is not a day that I do not miss him and yearn for him to tell me that all will be ok.  I wish.  I would give anything to be able give him the tightest hug ever and just look him in his face. Be able to just sit down and have a conversation about life and love. 

Today is my daddy's birthday and though he is not on this earth with me any longer, I always have him in my heart.  I am going to do my best to honor him today.  I am going to do my best to not feel overcome with sorrow.  On this day, I am going to try to be a little stronger.  I will talk to him and try to feel him.  I am so blessed to have had a father that loved me so much.  He was involved, cared and shared with me as much of him as possible.  He was my daddy.  My love and my heart. 

I encourage all those that still have their fathers or father figures in their lives to love them a little more today.  Let them know that you appreciate them.  Have a moment that you will be able to hold close to you forever.  Don't let a moment pass without saying that you love them.  Life is too short to hold grudges or hold your emotions to yourself and regret with a side of guilt are burdens that aren't worth enduring.  Create a moment for your forever.  You will appreciate it later.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY - I LOVE YOU & MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!

Rest In Peace

Freckles Thought for this day...

"You can become a night watchman and live happily. It is what you are inwardly that matters. Your inner peace and joy you have to earn. It is much more difficult than earning money. No university can teach you to be yourself."

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, 1897-1981

Wishing you all that is good and true

It's My Birthday Week....

My birthday is Saturday.  I am excited about it and have been for a while now.  I love birthdays and celebrating everyone's birthday.  My friends will tell you.  It's HUGE.  in college I use to make sure that my crew's doors were decorated in the dorm.  I even decorated my roommate's door in our apartment last year.  It was hilarious.  I like to be sure that I always acknowledge and do something special for people that are special to me on their day of birth.  I am so grateful to the FACEBOOK for making that easier.  YAY!!! 

Anyway,  I am going to post everyday and share a few things about birthdays.  Let me know when yours is and I will be sure to have something special for you too.  LOL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!!!

I want to shout out my friend once again, yes I have written about her before but she is just the special. Friends are very special people that come into your life to make you better.

They make smile. They make you laugh and Lord willing they make you live.

Thanks Friend. 

I am so blessed to have you in my life and I wish you nothing but the most abundant blessings.

Freckles 34 Random Birthday Quotes, Moementsm, Statements and Facts 

just for you Mane....

1. If there's something that you're dreaming of then may it all come true, because you deserve it all...HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

2. This is the first birthday in our friendship that we will not be together. Sadface but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!  3. For Salmon Croquettes and Grits On Saturday Mornings  4. ON THIS DAY IN 1967 THURGOOD MARSHALL WAS APPOINTED TO THE SUPREME COURT BY LYNDON JOHNSON  5. “Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.”  6. Shrimp and Grits from J. Christophers  7. “And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”  8. All the Obama Magazines 

9. ON THIS DAY IN 1804 JAMES WELDON JOHNSON WAS BORN10. “It takes a long time to grow young.”  11. Cheesecake Factory  12. We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. 13. Goodie Mob, Jill Scott and Dave Chappelle

14. Believing hear, what you deserve to hear: my own to me is dear...

But yours gives most; for mine did only lend Me to the world; yours gave to me a friend.

15. ON THIS DAY IN 1969 "HEE HAW" WITH ROY CLARK & BUCK OWENS PREMIERS ON CBS TV 16. Random adventures around ATL  17. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  18. Then I found five dollars  19. Last week the candle factory burned down.   Everyone just stood around & sang Happy Birthday.

20.  Swaggerty’s Sausage  21. DC  22. ON THIS DAY IN 2007 BOB BARKER'S FINAL EPISODE AS HOST OF THE PRICE IS RIGHT AIRED  23. A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.  24. CL   25. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

26. ON THIS DAY IN 2000, RAPPER FLESH-N-BONE OF BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY WAS CONVICTED OF ASSAULT WITH A FIREARM AND FOR BEING AN EX-CONVICT IN CRIMINAL POSSESSION OF A FIREARM AFTER THREATENING A FRIEND WITH AN AK-47.   27. CD 28. ON THIS DAY IN 2000: BRITISH MARINES LEAVE SIERRA LEONE - THE MAJOR CONTINGENT OF THE BRITISH MILITARY TASK FORCE SENT TO HELP RESTORE ORDER IN SIERRA LEONE LEAVES THE COUNTRY.29. Johnny Rockets 30. On this day in 1752 Benjamin Franklin and his son test the relationship between electricity and lightning by flying a kite in a thunder storm.

31. Five Guys  32. Also born on this day is ICE CUBE – how cool is that?  33. Andre 3000 is a gotdamn liar!

34. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MANY MORE DUDE!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL (Younger) SIS!!!

Today is my sister's birthday.  I have spoken of her before.

I say my lil younger sister because she is taller than me.  I am shorty of the family.  I am not quite sure where my height when but the parental unit didn't give me that.  tsk tsk!!! 

She is one the most special people in my life and I ever so thankful that God chose me to be her sister.  So on this day,  I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY & know that someone in Atlanta loves you.  See you soon.

I love you so much!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTFRIEND!!! A Toast to You

This is a special edition dedicated to my bestest on her special day!!!

Here is a Toast to You...

I am ever so thankful to have this wonderful woman in my life. She has been an absolute blessing and keeps me striving to be a better woman everyday so that I can be a better friend to her. We have been through some things that have brought us closer even when I thought that they may have driven us apart. She is one of the most loyal, generous, caring, considerate, bluntly honest, dependable, genuine, loving, fantastic hair and nail having, perfume having, underwaear obsessed, neat, organized, OCD having, great stor telling, great paper writing, helpful, whip driving, shit talking, joke telling, conference call having, supportive, hilarious, MBA having, loafer wearing - well tennis shoe wearing, great toe week having, intelligent, lovable (and please believe that the list could go on and on) person. She is one of the most important people in my life.

I am so blessed to have a person that is for me when some are against me. To have person that will pull me to the side and tell me I am wrong when I swear that I am right. Thankful to have a person that will pat me on my head when I can’t stop crying and will always be there whenever I need her. She will listen and talk to me how I am feeling and allows me to be there for her even when it's too much for her to handle. She is the friend that will always ask if you are busy first then say do you have a minute. She is the friend that goes for it and says I have a confession. She is the "we are in this together and I love you regardless" type of friend.

My bestie is the kind of woman that understands your past, embraces your future with you and makes plans to believe in you when you almost don’t believe in yourself. That is my best friend. A woman that is sometimes better to other people than she is herself. She is selfless and triumphant and eloquent. She believes in the bond of friendship and doesn’t have all the unnecessary. If you are her friend and truly her friend - she will do whatever she can for you. She is so wonderful and sometimes I wonder if she knows how wonderful she is. I try my best to remind her as much as possible so that is why this day is so special.

This is a day that it is all about her and no one else. This is the day she graced the world with her presence and God saw that it was so. Most of all it is a day to show how much I appreciate her and love her. On this day, your birthday, I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIEND and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING MY FRIEND. You are inspiring even when you don’t know it and always good for a laugh when least expected with a sidebar. Great friends are truly hard to find, wonderful to have and a blessing to keep. Life has truly been a party with you in it. So this day is all about you and middle finger to the ones that don’t know any better. Enjoy your day!!! I love you girly!!!

Lots of great things have happened on September 1, such as...

1896 - Dr. George Washington Carver ~ (scientist) began his famed career as an Agricultural Chemist at Tuskegee Institute

1904 - George Coleman Poage ~ (hurdler) became first Black to win a medal at the Olympic Games. He won bronze medals for the 200-meter and 400-meter hurdle events.

1972 - American Bobby Fischer won the international chess crown in Reykjavik, Iceland, defeating Boris Spassky of the Soviet Union 1984 - "What's Love Got to Do with It" by Tina Turner topped the charts and stayed there for 3 weeks. New Edition performed "Mr. Telephone Man" and "Cool It Now" on "American Bandstand."

1998 - Mark McGwire of the St. Louis Cardinals hit his 56th and 57th home runs of the season, breaking the National League record set by Hack Wilson in 1930.

2007 - Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, announced that he would resign in the wake of fallout over his guilty plea in a Minnesota airport gay sex sting. (Craig later reversed his decision, saying he would serve out the rest of his term.)

2008 - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, John McCain's choice to be his running mate on the Republican ticket, revealed that her 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, was pregnant.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY AND LET'S ALL HAVE A DRINK OR 4

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Daddy, I am thinking of you. Each and every day and every time I look in the mirror. I long to hear your voice and receive your advice and it would be great to have a hug too. I would love to hear you say how much you love me and would love to hear you tell me that you are proud of me. However none of that is going to happen. I am feeling so many different things right now. I am frustrated and feeling some regret. I should have been there and I could have done this or that. I wish I could have said this and said that but I must let go of these feelings. I would like to share what has happened and what knowledge I gained. I would love to be able to tell you that I am sorry and explain my point of view. I would love to be able to share all things that I have felt over the last 15 years. All the wrongs and rights along with the ups and downs – this has been a process for not only you but all of us that love you.

I watched you and felt you not want to go on and not seem to understand the impact it had on the people around you. You were mean and stubborn. You always knew it all but could not take what you often dished out. You made no regard for your life as the others around you fought to keep you alive. Overtake, undertake and mistake while suffering and not sharing what you were feeling. The selfish part of me hates that you are gone but at the same time I am so glad that you are not longer in all of the pain. I feel like you could have tried harder but you didn’t. I feel like you could have still worked hard and for yourself but you didn’t. I feel like you still had a great work to do but you didn’t. You gave up on yourself without ever giving you a chance to succeed. You were such a genius and one of the smartest people that I have ever met. I listened to all of the things that people had to say about you and they all believed alike. I wish that you knew the impact that you had on so many people. I wish there could have been a moment where you realized that your life was so valuable even without legs. I wish you would have reached your potential.

So on this day, the day of your birthday, I am overwhelmed and my heart is heavy. I am unable to make this special phone call and let you know that I am thinking of you and loving you more than I can truly express. I would love to hear you say that you love me too but I know that you did. It just would be nice to hear you say it. However in my heart I say Happy Birthday and I love you so much!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY FRECKLES

and

Rest In Peace