Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Happy Birthday Daddy (Rest In Peace)

Dear Daddy,

Sometimes I sit real still and quietly hope to hear your voice.  These are the moments that I realize how grateful I am that I had a wonderful man in my life.  A man that always made me feel special and loved me more than I have words to describe.  I am so blessed.  There are so many young ladies out there that are not blessed to have such and I will always be continually thankful that God chose you to be my daddy.

You know I wish that you were here.  There are a few things that I would like to run by you for your guidance.  I miss that about you.  You were a good listener and you didnt really say much until I got it all out.  It's funny looking back at some of those late night calls when I was paniced or freaking out how calm you were.  I took for granted that you would always be there to comfort me or even save me from myself.  I need that right now.

 I often wonder if you can hear me when I talk to you.  You see so much has changed since you died.  I have changed. I am not as outgoing as I was to an extent.  My emotions are hot and cold. I am still heartbroken.  My relationships have changed due to the my rollercoaster dynamic.  I am still having a hard time redefining me.  A hard time developing a new normal.  I didnt know that going on without you was going to be this hard and some days are better than others. I miss you more than anything and I just want to not be broken.  I want to hear your voice. see your smile. feel your love.  If only once more. I wish that you would come to me in my dreams and just tell me that you love one last time.  I wish that I didnt feel as alone as I do without you.  I wish that a piece of me wasnt gone with you.  I wish that some thoughts of you didnt take my breath away.  I wish that I could tell you Happy Birthday to your face.

I know better and I am going to do better.  I am going to do my best not be sad today.  I am going to do my best to not just dwell in my grief. So, on this day I honor you and your memory.  I cherish what I had and hope to see you in my dreams.  I look forward to seeing you again and hope that I make you proud. I miss you and love you. 

I love you daddy, Happy Birthday!!!
Rest In Paradise.



Reggie said...


My own father has been gone for almost 20 years now. A day doesn't go by that I don't think of my own father.

I could have used his counsel more than a few times in the last 20 years.

Freckles said...

Some days are truly better than others. My daddy died on July 6, 2009 and his birthday is August 15 and Fathers day is in June. All that to say that the summer months are rough for me. The bible ssays that we should always seek wise counsel and he was truly wise counsel. I miss him. thanks for sharing my heart.

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