Check Yoself Before You Wreck Yoself

I have been known to be the guys girl.  I have several male friends and always have.  I am cool, laid back, not hard on the eyes (toot toot), love football, fond of the random pointless cuss word and can even toss them back with the best of them.  This was a bit of problem in high school which was often perceived as being more than it was which made girls play on my phone and whisper behind my back.  Now 15 years later I am still comfortable with men and love to be around them. Most of my male/guy friends have been around since high school (circa 1994).  We have grown up, apart and together again in this time.  Several are in relationships, some are married or just involved but point is I know my role in their lives.  I try to be as respectful as possible often introducing myself to their others when possible.  I like to ensure them that I am not that chick and that I know my place.  I do my best to never confuse what our friendship is but do try to be a good friend.  I do not do a bunch of calling, texting or asking for time.  I do randomly check in via text, call and sometimes facebook (if  we are allowed to be friends on the book). 

All of this to say...

I need my friend's girlfriends, wives, baby mommas, main chicks, jump offs, chicks that think that they are #1, cuddle buddies, f-partners, one night stands etc to ALL play their roles and stay in their lanes.  I need them to go to their dude when they believe that they have  a problem.  I need them to stay off my phone, out of my text messages and my fb inbox with the BS.  CHECK YOSELF!  I need these broads to not be grown doing the same mess that was not even ok in high school.  CHECK YOSELF!  I need these so called women to grow up and stop being so insecure that they feel the need to play on the phone and inquire about their male companion.  I need them to realize that all of this keeping track of a man is not worth it and that some women do not feel obligated to play this game of check up. CHECK YOSELF! I do not wish to play this game and I would so sincerely appreciate it if women that are oh so insecure, women that are not  completely involved,, women that are mothers and should be taking care of their children oppose to screening calls/ text messages, forwarding his phone calls to her phone so that they can keep track of all his comings and going, who he is conversing with and why.  Who actually has time for that? CHECK YOSELF! 

You better check yo self before you wreck yo self - I cannot appreciate the foolery and just needed to get this bit off my chest. 

I’m STILL not that chick but if I was...

I find this to be neccessary again as it seems some may not have gotten the point the last time.  I will get off this soapbox when it is no longer valid.

No, I am STILL not that chick but if I was you should be nervous but bitches like you that make wish that I were.

It is a shame when a woman has a good man and doesn't know what to do with him. A man that is not afraid of being a man and loves her in spite of her.  He takes care of home and his family in it.  He loves, honors and respects all her wishes even when he disagrees. He spends time, adores her and even waits patiently for her to decide when the time is right to make it all good on paper.  He allows her to be who she is and tones himself down a bit by not kicking it as much and even cutting off the female friends that may make her uncomfortable. His life is all about her and their family.  I am sure that are problems but in the big picture he is a good man who has room for improvement but we all should be works in progress.

It is funny how that woman cannot appreciate what she has and spends way too much time pointing out imperfections and minor details of who his friends are and what he is doing with them and why it is not time to tie the knot. It is a shame when that "good man" feels the need to vent about his love for this woman and profess to be patient. He shares his frustration and still manages to bring it home to her. He sees that it is not as good as it could but makes an effort to work at his relationship with her. It's ironic that bitches women like that feel the need to try to find something wrong sabotage with her "good man" by going all through his email and showing her insecurities to other people.  She would take the time to contact those women that may of threat instead of talking to him. She would try to find a reason to give up on him instead of being thankful. It is sad that women like this make a good man wanna leave the one he's with like Usher.  It is a shame when this woman cannot find the time to ask her "good man" how his day was or what's on his mind or simply say "baby, I was thinking about you and want to cater to you in appreciation for all that you do".  It's funny how that woman that has that "good man" feels the need to parade herself as that man to try to find something that is not there. 

There are women out there that wait for women like this to make a mistake and slip up.  There are women out there that know how to take care of a good man and uplift him and please him at the same time.  There are women out there that could show a good man how wonderful he is and not second guess his any move.  These women are friends and there waiting for their opportunity and chance to make that good man theirs.  They see him and the big picture. They feel his frustrations and know how to cure it and want to have what you have. She will do whatever it takes as soon as possible so be careful.  Watch out and proceed with caution. This is a warning. There is always another waiting in the wings and hoping that you continue to go through his phone and calling/ texting via his phone pretending to be him. I know this woman and I often wish to be her but I am not. 

I respect him and I even respect you although at this moment you don't really deserve it. I am not one that you have to worry about at all but if I were that chick you made your one mistake and the ball could have been in my court.  I see how this could have played out if I was that chick. It would have been so easy but lucky for you, I am really just his friend and I'm not that chick.

PSA #201: Wack Ass Women (Get Your Act Together)

I am sick and tired of wack as women!!! 

Get your act together!!!

There is an epidemic of women that do not feel like that should take responsibilty for themselves.  They have babies (yes plural), dont work, get all kind of assistance, take opportunities to live off someone else, get child support, steal, lie and dont give a damn who they hurt in the process.

It is like that moment when you see the woman on Maury stating her case.  Her hair is well put together, her clothes look fantastic and quite possibly looks like she should be a nice, well put together woman.  Anyway, she pleads her case and goes on and on - then Maury says YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER.  the story generally ends there ans she starts crying out of embarrassment.  We very rarely hear the man's point of view. after all she did change his life - she filed for child support, harrassed him, his current somebody, his mother, siblings and possible broke the window out his car.  She even brought him on TV to attempt to embarras him but what does she do when she has to deal with her lack of carefulness.  Why is it that its ok

Why is that some women take the time to damage men?  This I will never know.  He is a nice guy and takes care of business.  He even wants to be with her even though she has other kids.  He wants to make it work.  He feels that she is worth it but then again he is too nice.  She learns to take advanatage and for a while he lets her but when is enough... enough?  She moves on and neglects his feelings but keeps him dangling just in case.  Why does he settle?  What is so great about this wack ass woman?

How is it that a man can be a good father, be ther for his child, do for his child and then get put into a situation where he is not able to take care of himself. Get a job - Shady ass women that do whatever it takes to get over - Child Support is for the child not for you to take care of your responsibilities.  Someone I love dearly is being manipulated and cheated by a wack as women.  He has his responsibility in the situation but this is not about him.

Then there are those WACK AS WOMEN that feel the need to sneak and creep.  STOP looking for shit that may not be there.  Don't sabotage your relationships by showing your insecure self.  If you feel the need to go through his email, his phone, his pockets, his personal anything  what does that say about you?  Why are you with him?  Do you not have anything else better to do than go behind this man?  Why do you insist on making something be there?  There are good men out there that do believe in monogamy, in being loyal, in being respectful, in being respectful etc.  You WACK ASS WOMEN need to recognize and respect who you are so you can stop being wack.

So this is for that woman that doesnt feel the need to be a good woman.  WOMAN UP and GROW UP!!!  Stop being drama, get a job and take care of yourself.  Don't depend on your pussy to do it for you. STOP making that man have to be malicious  GROW UP!!!

I am freckles and I approve this message.

Enjoy Your Piece – An Ode to THAT stupid Woman (Round II)

Hello, may I speak to Barbara Barbara, this is Shirley You might not know who I am But the reason I am calling you is because I was going through my Old man`s pockets this morning And I just happened to find your name and number

So woman to woman I don`t think it`s being anymore than fair To call you and let you know Where I`m coming from

Now Barbara I don`t know how you`re gonna take this But whether you be cool Or come out of a bag on me You see it doesn`t really make any difference

But it`s only fair that I let you know that The man you`re in love with He's mine

Woman to Woman – Shirley Brown

"HELLO BARBARA, THIS IS SHIRLEY I WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT THE MAN ... NOW WAIT A MINUTE SHIRLEY I'M A YOUNG WOMAN AND CAN'T AFORD TO ALL THE THINGS YOU DO FOR THIS MAN I DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB AND I CAN'T BUY HIS CLOTHES, PAY HIS CAR NOTES AND I SURELY CAN'T KEEP MONEY IN HIS POCKET BUT I CAN GIVE HIM WHAT HE NEEDS, WHEN HE NEEDS IT AND THAT'S ALL HE EXPECTS FROM ME" I CAN GIVE HIM LOVE FROM HIS WOMAN TO YOU THERE IS A THING OR TWO I'D LIKE TO SAY I DON'T CARE WHO CLAIMS THIS MAN I'M GONNA LOVE HIM IN A WAY ... WOMAN TO WOMAN HE SPENT LAST NIGHT WITH ME STAYED HERE CAUSE THIS IS WHERE HE WANTED TO BE FROM HIS WOMAN TO YOU I'VE GOT TO MAKE IT JUST PLAY AS I CAN SEEMS TO ME YOU'RE DOING TO MUCH FOR THE MAN FROM HIS WOMAN TO YOU THAT YOU BEGGING LOVING IT'S GIVING UP YOURSELF AND I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU I DON'T MIND SHARING IF YOU DON'T BOTHER ME I WON'T BOTHER YOU FROM HIS WOMAN TO YOU Barbara Mason – From His Woman To You

(The Response to Woman to Woman)

There is an epidemic of stupid women that feel the need to show off their piece of man. Oh you think you wanna fight? Bitch please, He isn't man enough for me. I wasn't the one but apparently you are… TAGE YOU'RE IT!

I once was a jealous of folks well let me scratch that – envious of people with seemingly perfect relationships. You see them out all happy and holding hands. They generally smiling and seem to have it together. There are even times when I have seen women with men and men with women and wondered why is he with her or why is she with him. Why? Why? Tell them that it is human nature. (shout out MJ and may he one day RIP) - It's human nature, which it is and I am sure that I am not the only one. I digress à As a single woman, I often thought about why I am single or what is it that I am not doing right. But to be honest, it's somewhat by choice. There are some things that I am not willing to deal with or do without in a relationship. I deserve an entire man not just a piece that I have to pay for. I once told my grandmother that I saw an old boyfriend out with his new girlfriend. They looked happy together and in my hater mode (yeah, I am being honest) I looked at her and she was cute but not as cute as me. My immediate thought was "wow, you want her instead of me huh? " I told my grandmother about what I had seen and joked that he wasn't this and I didn't like that. She in return laughed and then told me not to ever be jealous or envious of someone else's relationship because you don't know what they deal with to be with each other. I didn't understand at the time but as I have gotten older I now realize what she was talking about.

Now looking back at that conversation with my grandmother I am able to look at relationship situations with wiser eyes. I have seen women go through great lengths not to be alone. They go along with whatever and however in order to say "he's my man". As the song above, Shirley called Barbara to say hey I take care of him like he is my kid and not a grown ass man because I love him and Imma need you to back off heffa (truly summarizes but I am sure that you get the point). Then Barbara responds back and says girl, I can't do all that and he doesn't expect any of that from me but I love him and I am not trying to go anywhere but if you look the other way we gonna do what we do and you do what ya'll do and we gonna be cool (again summarized but you get the point). It makes me think – how much were they willing to put up with to have THAT man?

All I could come up with was he musta had a powerful, means, austitatious, perfect, perm sweating, back popping, toe curling, I must stretch before we get started ooooh…. well you were thinking the same thing. He musta because I just don't see going back and forth about a man that is only a PIECE of man to not only me but to you AND you take care of him. WOAH!!! I am all about support, love, encourage, uplift, treat, sex, contribute, caress, kiss, work, care, open, temptation, lust and all the rest of the fabulous adjectives that compile into a "wonderful" relationship but one word that does not fit is shared. I don't have the desire to share a man with any other woman. That is not what we should to be about. Nor do I feel the desire to take care of man that does not respect my care for him or my love. My love is to be valued and not mishandled. On the contrary I can't speak for another. I don't want a piece of man but to each her own.

How is your peace when you recognize that your piece has a side piece? How does it feel when you are no longer the only woman in his life. He dips out and has his fun. He has his girls on the side and relationships that becomes personal and intimate. Extremely intimate and very personal. You saw it all. The secret life of how he was with her. How turned on he was by her and all of your attributes. You went through it all. The pictures, videos and all the emails. Did you check the chat conversations too? I am sure that she could tell you how he likes it but I am sure that you read about it. Their escapades and many rendezvous. He was full into her on your dime. The trips and mini vacations. She was a part of his life and you watched silently for as long as you could. You spoke to her and she told you everything and still you hold on to your piece since she was not willing to settle. You keep him kept and at this point I almost can't be mad at him for saying whatever he said to stay your piece. How long do you participate in this love that is all of your own especially when he needs you more than you need him? He is missing in action doing his thing with someone other than you yet you hold on. It's no longer her but what makes you think that he'll be true to this time or there is not another. Why? Are you scared of being alone or do you feel like MOKENSTEF – he is yours, she may have had him once but you got him all the time? LOL!!! And yes I ask Why?

How much is enough? How much are you willing to sacrifice in order to have the piece of man? Take care of him. Let him live under your roof where you pay the mortgage, lights, water and gas. Let him eat your food that you buy. Take him on vacations that you pay for. This is not a huge deal to me but I do wonder how often do you look the other way? How often do you allow him to use and abuse you? I don't mean physically but emotionally and possibly mentally. This has to be an exhausting process to love someone that does not love you back they way that you want or deserve to be loved.

I say all this to say kudos and accolades to you. As Rihanna once said Take a Bow. This show was so entertaining and now I feel the desire to be sick (in fact I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit). What everyone seems to think looks good and full of black love isn't really all that great. However it looks good and that is quite a performance on your behalf. He is only being himself but you have to be an academy award winning actress to pull this shit off. It's sad that you don't feel your worth but hell you got a man and I don't so who am I to judge you. However I don't have a man or even a piece of man because I am worth more than a piece. But I sarcastically applaud you and all the women that feel the need to have a taste for shit and a piece of man long term. You all deal with deal with whatever in order to have a piece of man but hey they say someone else's trash is someone's treasure.

PEACE OUT - FRECKLES