Check Yoself Before You Wreck Yoself

I have been known to be the guys girl.  I have several male friends and always have.  I am cool, laid back, not hard on the eyes (toot toot), love football, fond of the random pointless cuss word and can even toss them back with the best of them.  This was a bit of problem in high school which was often perceived as being more than it was which made girls play on my phone and whisper behind my back.  Now 15 years later I am still comfortable with men and love to be around them. Most of my male/guy friends have been around since high school (circa 1994).  We have grown up, apart and together again in this time.  Several are in relationships, some are married or just involved but point is I know my role in their lives.  I try to be as respectful as possible often introducing myself to their others when possible.  I like to ensure them that I am not that chick and that I know my place.  I do my best to never confuse what our friendship is but do try to be a good friend.  I do not do a bunch of calling, texting or asking for time.  I do randomly check in via text, call and sometimes facebook (if  we are allowed to be friends on the book). 

All of this to say...

I need my friend's girlfriends, wives, baby mommas, main chicks, jump offs, chicks that think that they are #1, cuddle buddies, f-partners, one night stands etc to ALL play their roles and stay in their lanes.  I need them to go to their dude when they believe that they have  a problem.  I need them to stay off my phone, out of my text messages and my fb inbox with the BS.  CHECK YOSELF!  I need these broads to not be grown doing the same mess that was not even ok in high school.  CHECK YOSELF!  I need these so called women to grow up and stop being so insecure that they feel the need to play on the phone and inquire about their male companion.  I need them to realize that all of this keeping track of a man is not worth it and that some women do not feel obligated to play this game of check up. CHECK YOSELF! I do not wish to play this game and I would so sincerely appreciate it if women that are oh so insecure, women that are not  completely involved,, women that are mothers and should be taking care of their children oppose to screening calls/ text messages, forwarding his phone calls to her phone so that they can keep track of all his comings and going, who he is conversing with and why.  Who actually has time for that? CHECK YOSELF! 

You better check yo self before you wreck yo self - I cannot appreciate the foolery and just needed to get this bit off my chest. 

Embracing this Body

too fat. too skinny.

too dark. too light.

bigger breast. itty bitty titties. 

smaller this, bigger that, lipo this and tuck and plump that. This is too Big, that is too small. I dont like this and surely don't like that. Not enough ass or too much ass.

Muffin Top. Love Handles.

There is an epidemic among us that stresses that skinny frames are what is beautiful an/or healthy compared to the fuller frame.  This thing we call Body Image goes right along with her friend Self-Esteem.  Their relationship is bittersweet just like many of us today.  I say us because it is not just a female epidemic.  My brothas indulge in these ladies as well.  In fact it seems that it is some men's point of view that impact some women's view of self.  Think about it.

Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel. Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can affect how you act. A person who has high self-esteem will make friends easily, is more in control of his or her behavior, and will enjoy life more.  Body image is how someone feels about his or her own physical appearance.

Once upon a time I was petite yet curvaceous.  I was fly little track bodied girl of yesteryear in South LA.  That was a time when I just knew I was cute and the boys were a looking.  All the boys were running to the yard.  Damn if I had the ass that I had at 16... I held onto it for a while and then I went to college down south and got a lil taste of the country boy and that ass spread. however no regrets. College was good times...

Since then I have been every size from a 8-18.  My weight has yo-yo'd up and down and back up for the last few years.  I could not seem to control it but tried to make it work.  I fell in love with shoes because my feet have never made me cry.  It is something about going into fitting rooms and having your meat not be tucked where it should be tucked and have extra where you didnt imagine was possible.  I hated fitting rooms.  Once in there I felt inadequate, unhappy and not beautiful.  It didnt help that I met some dudes that said I was cute for a thickems and there were dudes that thought I was cool but I wasn't their ideal body type.  I allowed it to play into my mind and developed an insecure nature. I didnt want to be naked and tried my best to avoid mirrors while dressing.  I even had a hard time pleasing with the lights on. Then I met a man that knew me when I smaller and he embrace my fuller frame. He told me that I was awesome but couldn't be with me because I had issues with my body. It made me think.

During this time of fat girl itis I tried it all and had to fall in love with who I am.  My mother wrote me a letter once stating that she was concerned. Not because I was overweight but because I wasn't healthy.  I have my father's sides' body type which comes along with a plethora of health issues such as diabetes, hypertension, cholesterol, and high blood pressure as well as a few others.  In fact my father was  diabetic which encourages me to get regular sugar testing to make sure that I have that under control.  It was quote a journey - Embrace the body you have today and some other life changes that made me recognize how awesome I was.  the importance is on healthiness and away from being vain. 

I am not going to be a size 2, 4 or 6 and that is ok.  I had to find my security and my strong body attributes.  I have an awesome personality that is enhanced by great legs and big perky breast.  The rest is lost in translation... LOL! However now I am alot healthier and have lost some good weight. I have finally found a good balance and confidence is my new friend instead of Insecure.  I have a positive body image and have decided to embrace the body that I have now.  it can get better and some improvements may be good but health is the neccessary. 

Some of us need to check our body image and get in tune with our self esteem.  Learn to love and respect your body and to work with what you have. After all it is so much sexier than lack their of.  Recognize that “fat-ism” is a form of discrimination similar to sexism, racism, and classism. Assumptions that body shape determines attractiveness, personality, and success are incorrect and unjust. Combat discrimination when possible. Question assumptions and generalizations which promote the belief that one “type” of person is better than another.  We have to find a place of positivity in our own image and attempt to not spend so much time invested in the validation of others. Dont get me wrong.  I like to be noticed and like for a man to say "hey sexy" or "looing good lil mama". However I know what I have to offer so it is what it is.  Go ahead and EMBRACE THE BODY YOU HAVE TODAY INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU WISH YOU HAD.

What are strongest body attributes?