PRIDE: Definitions of pride on the Web:A feeling of self-respect and personal worth satisfaction with your (or another's) achievements; "he takes pride in his son's success"
the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards a group of lionsbe proud of; "He prides himself on making it into law school"
unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem (personified as one of the deadly sins) Pride is the cultivation, preservation or exalting of self. It is a protecting of self. Pride is commitment to self. It is building up ourselves in our own eyes or in the eyes of others. Pride is an excessive belief in one's superiority, worth, merit. Pride is a root cause of many sins.
I never truly considered myself a prideful person until recently. I am not the kind of person that likes to ask. I have a helping spirit. I do whatever I can for someone I care about and I do it without expectation. This attribute has been both a blessing and a curse. I do not know how to accept or ask for help. I do but it's an uncomfortable place for me especially right now. I am truly my father's daughter (mistaking my pride for weakness). I don't want to need help and surely don't want to ask for it but I am learning something new about myself at this time. You see, my current situation is a truly humbling place. I do not have a clear plan, I do not know where my next is coming from but I know that it is coming and my emotions are haywire. I can sincerely say that this character building experience is truly testing my faith and to be honest, for a moment I thought that I was in danger of failing (one of my absolute fears has been failure but faith...)
I got caught up in the woe is me, Lord don’t you see, God do you hear me and oh Jesus did you blink (thanks EC). I almost let the devil see me slipping but there is a place... I almost let him steal my joy. I almost gave up. But God saw otherwise.... Thank you. Through it all - I am blessed and yes I am going through but you cannot come out until you are through. I know that but I truly understand it right now at this moment. God has chosen me to go through this so that I can share this with someone or help someone that is going through worse or even less and I am going to have an awesome testimony.
God works in awesome ways. He sends angels to encourage you when you are having a hard time encouraging yourself. He sends you angels to show you when you cannot step outside of yourself. An angel was sent to me yesterday sharing a few thoughts, concerns and confirmations. She said some things to me that I had only shared with God - thank you Lord and I hear you. She reminded me that pride and peace conflict and that I need to let go of my pride. She shared that she had been praying for me through her own struggles in life. How wonderful is that and how blessed am I that someone had me on their mind and took the time to pray for me - I use to love to sing that song in church but I never truly knew what it meant until this very second. I am so thankful that she has been praying. You never know how is truly praying for you or in your corner when you are all caught up in your own issues. Sometimes your issues are not about you and sometimes you are suppose to truly endure the storm so you can know what your faith is (thanks mom). I hear you now and I am listening.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu1MNU08Au0 Lord let your will be done and please keep me sane in the meantime. Lord, give me the peace to surpass all understanding and truly praise you through the storm. I am feeling so many different things right now and I do not want to miss anything from you. Sometimes I feel like I don't hear you Lord but then you sent me an angel that eased my pain with confirmation from you. Thank you Father for the ability to hear what you provided. Thank you for the simple things (breathing, walking, thinking, seeing... all things taken for granted) and Lord, I thank you for giving daddy a new home with a new body. Father it's been hard for me but you have blessed me through month #2 and I am so thankful for your grace and mercy. I am thankful for his life and I am thankful that there is no more suffering. Father God, keep me close as I meditate on Philipians 4:6-9 - this is my scripture. It worked before and I believe it to be true. Now Father, I pray for each person that reads this transparent moment. Lord I pray that you will touch each life. Provide each with the peace, comfort, guidance and/or desire of their hearts. Let them be encouraged that we are all faced with challenges but that you are a God of hope and gratefulness. There is light at the end of the tunnel and you've got it. Lord I thank as I know it's already taken care of. Thank You Lord. Amen.