Thursday, August 6, 2009

1 Month In and About Ready to Go Forward with Faith

So yesterday made 1 month of my father’s passing and I am at cross road. I am now ok and have come to terms with him being gone but there are still good days and bad days. I had a long conversation with someone the other day and it was brought to my attention that I may be trying to dwell in my grief. I initially got defensive and stated that they had their nerve. He was my daddy. He was very much involved in my life and was always good to me. I never had to question his love for me. The person quickly apologized and simply stated that I may not be dealing with the his death as much as I would like to believe and that I need to deal with all the feelings came with his passing. After I barked at this person and went on. I reflected.
To a certain extent they were right. I have to let go of all the emotions that go along with daddy being gone. It’s ok for me to be mad, guilty, sad and lonely. It’s ok that I feel all the things that I feel but I can’t eternalize these emotions and continue to own them. I have to get to a point where I decide that I have to move on and trust that God will give me comfort. I believe that God is going to provide me all that I need but I am going to have to let go and let God.
I am not saying that I am not going to still hurt because I do but I have to let go of some of this other stuff in order for God to be able to meet my needs. This is so much easier said than done but I am praying for guidance and I know that there are people praying for me too. It also helps to write and get all of this stuff out. God is amazing in that way. When I don’t think that I can hear him He send people to encourage you and share His blessings with you and even provides confirmation. I am so thankful for that.
So, Daddy I am glad that you are finally at peace and I am going to do my best to make you proud of me after all I am blessed to see you every time I look in the mirror.
So, Thank you to all with much thanks filling my heart for good people in my life that offer a word of encouragement, a piece of concern and prayer for my comfort. It goes a lot further than words may ever be able to express.
Comforting Peace and Faithful Blessings,

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