I am no longer the petite athlete from high school and I am no longer that naive little girl from South Central Los Angeles. I am no longer in a place where I need to be validated by others or scared of frightened of being who I am. No longer living in my own fantasy world but now open to the world and all of its realities. I am no longer in high school or in college. So why is it that I keep having to go to the past and live in the "good ole days"? The days when were a lot more youthful and slim & trim. The days when we could not say all the things that were on our minds. The days when it was cute to have a crush while admiring them from a distance. The days when spent lots of time writing letters/notes, folding then in different shapes, using code names so we wouldn’t be found out and passing them in between classes. We were great athletes with so much potential. We were decent students and musicians. We were popular, nerdy, mathematical, smart, ambitious unmotivated, motivated, immature and mature.
KEYWORD - WERE
We WERE all of these things. We were kids but we are now adults. When do we all grow up and most past living in our “good ole days”. Don’t get me wrong, I have some fond memories of people that I like to think about or even chat about but then there is a time to move on. What point do you reflect on who and what we are now?
There are guys that I crushed on in middle school, high school and even college that have crossed my path as an adult. We relive those days and share our thoughts of the past. This is cool and even nice and sometimes offers some additional information and or closure of situation during that time. However, we are adults now and some of us are different people with different interest. We don’t still do childish things or some us may but that is an entirely different subject. While it is nice to know thoughts and desires from back in the day – all of the woulda, shoulda, coulda’s are almost irrelevant if you are interested in the person that was as a child instead of the adult I am now. Or is it? Shouldn’t we converse on the present too? While I am still flirtatious (an adjective that keeps coming up), still outspoken but now a lot more honest, very direct and to the point. Thankfully, I am no longer the girl from middle school or high school and hopefully you are not the same person that you were then either. I am a grown woman on my way to being 30. I am and adult woman coming into the woman that I suppose to be. I no longer have the desire to live in the past of the “good ole days” but it sure is nice to visit from time to time. But only a visit.