Monday, August 3, 2009

Staying Above Water

There was a time that people only liked me for what they thought I was or had. It was a place where it was never about them and only about me. I needed something... However now that I have had time to reflect on life. Life is too short not to love the folks that are in your life or yourself. I have been blessed to have friends that genuinely love me just for me. I am ever so thankful for their friendship regardless of my circumstance - you know who you are. It has begin to be the little things. The test messages saying that I am thinking of you and praying for you. the videos and pictures of things that are appeasing to the eyes or will make me smile. The cry if you want to and don't worry about what anyone else says. Thank you. Those things and acts of kindness that have been doing have meant alot. More than I could ever even express. This is a tough time for me and I am just trying to stay above water. I often feel as if I am drowning in my own wavering faith. Its a scary place. There have been times when I have tried to pray and talk to God about all that is on my mind and then there is times when I am not able to get anything out but Lord Give me Strength. I know where my strength comes from but to be honest I have moments when I am not really which way is up. I feel as if I am losing this battle and that He does not hear me. I often feel like something has to give and that this will truly be the straw that breaks the camels back. However then I have to encourage myself - love that song. So, as take this journey of healing I hope that those friends continue to do what they do. Don't feel obligated to do more or feel that you are not doing enough. You are doing what you suppose to be doing as I am doing what i am suppose to be doing. I am just staying above water trying to fail or drawn in the process. peace and blessings...Freckles

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