Monday, June 7, 2010

Dear Mr. Unavailable (an open letter)

Dear Mr. Unavailable,

It has always been a matter of time. The time has always been bad but for a moment I thought that this time was going to be the best time to finally be the right time instead of next time. Silly me. Not really but it is all relative.

It is very sad for me that our time has ended. Our friendship seems to be completely at a lost and it hurts more than I can articulate at this moment to say good bye, especially since you have been in my life for so long. We have watched ourselves grow up and now apart with all things in between. Honestly, I miss you already but I will always have the moments, conversation with no words and smiles across the room full of inside jokes. You moved me. Made me smile and feel some things that I hadn’t in a while. Thank you for making me capable of feeling again. You were once honest, caring and adoring. Like Donnie, Giving up is so hard to do but my light of hope is burning dim.  I appreciate that you were there. It feels strange to not have you as a go to but as some say, it is what it is. There are so many things that need to be said face to face. There are even some things that should probably not be said too. I hope that one day we will have that conversation of closure and when you are ready I will be available of course unlike yourself.

I am thankful to have had a friend like you in my life. I meant and to an extent continue to mean all things said. I wish we coulda woulda shoulda but at this time again, it is what it is as you are who/what/how/where you are. I’m going to accept it all as is and choose to let you go. Do know we were friends and our friendship was to be admired and appreciated. The timing may come around one day but that was not this day but until then I will just see you next lifetime.


Good Luck with Life’s Journey Old Friend.

Freckles

8 comments:

JStar said...

Girl...This almost brought tears to my eyes...I have my "Mr Unavailble" as well...The man that was supposed to be "mine" forever...But he is so unavailble running his business that there is no time to get anything started...He cant give me what I need so I had to move on and let go...That was one of the hardest things I ever had to do...He was my first boyfriend at age 15...The one that was always there...The sad thing tho is I had to let the friendship go as well, because I wanted more...and it hurt to bad to have him around and couldnt have him as mine...

S Jones Aka Shirley said...

Damn Those Mr. Unavailable's.....They Hold A Place In Our Hearts But Sometimes We Have 2 Let Go :-(

stephanie said...

i had one of those too. it'll be a year next month since our friendship ended and i'm still reeling. i hope for you as well as myself strength and peace.

Citizen Ojo said...

I thought you were talking about me at first but then I kept on reading.....ha

Freckles said...

I really just needed to get it out and I know he reads the blog.

JStar, girl... that is all that I got.

Heck yes Shirley - Damn them.

Stephanie, Yes big pictures is I miss my friend but shit... He should have fought for it.

My Dear Citizen, you know you are my blog boo and of course you are unavailable too. High Five wifey for me. She did that!

Alee said...

This is a good post. Loved it.

Freckles said...

Alee, Thanks so much and thank you for reading. Appreciate you.

Citizen Ojo said...

I'm your blog boo!! *cheers and handshakes all around*

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