FUmissindependentCK

I am sure that there will be some positive and negative spins on this subject but it is what it is and I feel how I feel. However you are all entitled to your own opinions but I do hope for a discussion. Fuck Miss Independent! At the end of the day I am single and am only INDEPENDENT due to circumstance. Yea I said it and I only partially mean it. I have to work and take care of myself (with occasional help from the parental units). I have to go to work so I have to pay my bills and possibly purchase a fabulously sexy pair of shoes for that off the banger shoe-gasm instead of my B.O.B. Yes, sometimes it is like that when a sista is on a drought like California.

                               I digress…

I am only truly independent because I have to be and because my mother and father taught me to depend on myself. My father taught me the discipline of martial arts and sports (soccer and track). He encouraged my mom to keep it feminine. My mother was strict about education and even encouraged college out of state so that I would have new experiences. While my parents were together, I watched my father provide for our family. He made sure we were all well taken care of. He was a man that tried to honor is role as a man, a father, a husband. I also saw my mother struggle to get her degree, work a full time job and raise two daughter while trying to find her independence. She never really had to work because she was provided for and when her life changed she had to make some changes as well. While my father was involved in our lives, he was no longer in our home. It changed me and I always wanted to be sure that I wouldn’t have the shift of roles or be so dependent on a man but when we know better we do better. All of that and I am still a single lady that doesn't have a ring on her or a love that is my very own.

                     
                            Again, I digress...

I have said this before when the question of my "status" comes up. I need a man to be my man and be able assume the role of being a man. If I had a man that was man enough to be my man it would be about him being head of household. Yeah I said it and it is ordained by God (read your good book sometimes). I would love the opportunity to work and not have to be completely responsible for keeping our household. Frankly, I am not all that responsible but I do my best. I had a conversation with a potential husband applicant and he said that if we were to get married I should be happy that all the bills were paid = roof over your head, all utilities paid including cable and internet so I could talk to you all that our home was fully furnished. I was listening to him thinking hell yeah sounds like a plan and where do I sign. Not really but honestly it sounds good to me. He went on to share with me that my shoe habit was not really an issue but I would have to work to maintain habit (in my head that was truly make it a habit) but nonetheless I heard what he was saying. He explained to me that he was a man and if I were his wife it was his duty to provide the necessities of living (i.e. home, car and good love and communication etc.) and return he would hope that I would respect our home by keeping it clean and kept, his desire to work (he drives trucks so he is gone for long periods at a time but he loves his work) and make sure that we maintained our relationship and kept it sexily nasty not necessarily only in the bedroom but you get the point. Hell, I can do that daddy went through my head as I heard my favorite Luther wedding song in my head and imagined this wonderful party because we eloped and decided to have a party after the fact. We just wanted to be married. :)

Seriously, I heard him and truly listened to what he had to say upon the subject. The conversation went more in depth but it's truly known of your business or relevant to this matter. However I did wonder if I truly have the ability to let my man (future husband) be my man in every aspect of the word and if that is why I am single.  I would like to believe that I am sincerely ready to let go of my singularly independent ways and become part of partnership. Although, I have been taking care of myself for a long time. I like being able to come and go as I please. I can appreciate that when I am irresponsible it only impacts me for the most part. I like that I do not have children and don’t have to care after anyone but me. I like that I don’t have to communicate my desires to someone or be conscious of how they feel about things and even compromise on life changing situations. All of that sounds good but aren't some of these things contradicting attributes of marriage?

I understand that I must be able to bring something to the table. I have to have something to offer besides that wonderful gift between my legs. I have to be there for him, support him, nourish him, love him, stroke (not only in the sexual sense) but I have to allow my man to be a man. I must respect his place as my man and I as his woman. We all have our roles in relationships and I sometimes see us all not respecting our positions (roles). Again, I say read your good book). Women sometimes get too caught up with being independent that we sometimes feel like we can be a man and cross that line. Then there are men that want to be men but do not want hold the title in its entirety.

Honestly, I can deal with that and I want that. I want a man that is man enough to be my man. A man that has a back bone, good communication, doesn’t mind telling me the truth even when there is a chance that my feelings may get hurt (though Imma need him to find a tactful way of saying it to me). A man that believes that being a man is taking care of his family and being a provider (emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially). It is his role as head of household and it is divine order (God, Man than Woman). However we live in a society where there are not too many two parent households and where a mother sometimes has to do her best to teach a boy to be a man when it is not her role to do so. We live in a society where it is ok for a woman to carry both roles of mother and father where she does as much as possible to provide for her family and bear the burden of possibly not having enough time, money, help, love etc. We live in a society where it is ok for men to make babies and be completely responsible for them (full time or otherwise). Where there are dudes that are boys trying to be men by whatever example they find. It is a cycle that continues and not completely understood. So yeah, that sister considers herself independent and it is idolized which is not a bad thing but she is something else when she not capable of appreciating a good man when he comes her way because she is conditioned to take care of self. She doesn’t know any different. She builds walls and doesn’t allow herself to let a man be a man and may not be able to recognize it at all because she can do it all herself because she is Miss Independent or goes back to her being Miss Independent – Yes there is something about her and no she cannot spend any time. I love Ne-Yo and don’t get me wrong but is there really something about her. All through the song he doesn’t really say anything truly positive or uplifting. However it does sound good and I have nothing against a woman that is her own boss. In fact I embrace it but I am not really referring to a woman being her person. I am more so referring the dynamic of roles in relationships and how we play them.

Let’s be honest for a second even if we agree to disagree, it is cool. No one wants to be alone and we all want to have our own identities. We want to be able to fend for ourselves and take care of ourselves. We want to be all that we can be. I am thankful for the day where a woman can have jobs that were once looked upon as man’s work. I embrace that fact that women as a whole embrace being able to get an education, work for themselves and purchase their own homes. It is wonderful that we live in a country where a woman can run for president. Yes all of these things are wonderful especially when once upon a time women were not able to do so. YAY LADIES!!! It is indeed a blessing and with all of that in mind that we can be liberated/ independent. We can do it all but we are not men. We are women that should conduct ourselves as such. Men and women are different. We not only have different parts but different views. This woman just happens to believe that INDEPENDENCE doesn’t have to define me. Whereas I don’t believe that I need a man to define me I would like to have one that I can say that is evenly yoked. I believe that Jill Scott said best when she “And even though I can do all these things, I need you…” It is so true.

The Fact Is (I Need You) - Jill Scott

She as His Franchise Player

There are some men that have an awesome franchise player on their team right now and do not even realize it or do not pay enough attention to recognize it.

FRANCHISE PLAYER

Definition: 1. A designation given to a player by his team to keep him from leaving via free agency. According to the NFL's collective bargaining agreement, the player must be paid the average salary of the top five players at his position.

2. A term used to refer to a superstar player who is invaluable to his team.

A team can use the franchise tag to keep one of their more valuable free agents from leaving the team.

The Cincinnati Bengals made Carson Palmer the first overall pick in the NFL Draft

because they felt he had the ability to be a franchise player.

She is very well versed on both sides of the ball and she is all for the team. She is a good woman with a trifekta combination of smart, sexy, cool. She has most if not all of those great feminine qualities that he adores and she even gets it done in the bedroom. She remembers all the little things that he loves, likes and even hates. She is so into him, wanting to take care of him and cook for him. She pays careful attention to all the highs and lows in his life. She listens when he needs an ear, lends her shoulder when he needs somewhere to lean and even holds her arms open to carry the load when it seems to be too much. She does her best to be his everything. She is into his family and helps him keep up with all the special dates that may slip his mind.

On offense, she plays QB so she is in charge of running the offense on the field but will listen to him in the huddle, HB to run the ball, FB for muscle with the ball, WR to catch while running all while maintaining her TE of course as an added bonus. She isn't hesitant to play tackle every now and then as well. She is always the center and on truly on guard so there is not much for him to worry. She stays prepared at the snap of the ball and quickly establishes any possible initial run or pass reads. She blocks bullshit high and low trying to decide whether to move downhill to the scrimmage line or whether to pass the ball. Her goal on the run is to also allow him to fill any gap left by other defenders fighting off blocks. That went over someone's head.

On defense, she tries to predict what the offense will do. Since she is always observant, she is constantly identifying and numbering the eligible receivers to know where coverage is needed most. On this side of the ball she focus' most of her time at free safety. The free safety gets the privilege of standing in the back, watching the play develop and attacking where she knows the play will end up. Many people refer to the position as the quarterback of the defense, because the safety needs to recognize formations, and communicate accordingly.

She listens to his wants, needs and desires and in most cases meets him on most occasions with a few exclusions. She notices that little wrinkle in his nose when he is frustrated or that crease in his forehead when he is concentrating. She is genuinely concerned with his well being. She uplifts and encourages him and keeps him motivated when life gets tough. She doesn't run or hide but stands tall sharing the brighter side of things. She is in his corner and will do whatever it takes to keep him satisfied and fulfilled. This woman plays her role offensively and defensively. She is FRANCHISE material.

There are men that know exactly what I am talking about. He is all too familiar with that woman and he keeps her around. He knows she is good one and possibly the one. She is truly invaluable to him but he tends to wonder about the others. After all there are so many women out there. There is always a desire for more. It is human nature and we are mildly guilty of it and some more than others. The thought that there is always something or someone better – better looking, better smelling, better tasting… younger, darker, lighter, shorter, taller, thicker, fuller, bigger, tighter… Longer hair, bigger lips, smaller body, more muscles, fatter ass, plumper tits, thicker penis… HUMAN NATURE.

FREE AGENCY

Definition: An open signing period during which an NFL team can sign any unrestricted player who is without a contract.

Examples: Many players change teams during free agency.

FREE AGENT

Definition: A professional football player who is not currently under contract with any football team.

Examples: A free agent may sign with any team he chooses.

DRAFT

Definition: The selecting of collegiate players for entrance into the National Football League.

DRAFT CHOICE

Definition: A player chosen by an NFL team from a pool of college players in an annual selection process.

So, again I say… There are some men that have an awesome franchise player on their team but they are spending way too much time looking all in the free agency and trying to see who is coming up on the draft. Only a selective few make it to the playoffs. Good teams take work and plenty of investment. Both player and coach need to take time to get to know each other, build a rapport. You gotta take the time to get to know each other's strength, weaknesses and how to find a workable balance. It doesn't happen overnight and just because the draft is approaching doesn't mean younger is better. It takes time and if the coach is not motivating or taking an active interest in making the franchise player happy…

Don't take what you have for granted.

White Men Can't Jump

Freckles may consider a white man test drive in 2010 - LOL.

Don’t get me wrong or have me misunderstood. I hella love black men but I am trying to be open to something new or simply open my mind - broaden my horizons a bit. And really, it is just a consideration at this moment. I will not be on a white man hunt nor will I be giving on brothas at all.

Honestly, here is where I am coming from on this subject. I grew up in Las Vegas, NV in a predominantly white neighborhood. My first crush was a blonde hair blue eyed boy named Jesse Marshall who lived across the street. We played together all the time and he ended up being one of my best friends. I didn’t even really have any black friends outside of my parents’ friends’ kinds that would come to visit from out of town until I got into the 6th grade. In Las Vegas, you attend 6th grade center which is close to downtown, so I was bussed to school and that is where I met the boy who would be my first tongue kiss - Marshall singleton (chocolate juicy lipped brotha that sealed my infatuation with dark brown skin). Middle School in Rockford and High School in Los Angeles - both predominantly black and College at the illustrious Fisk University, HBCU - fell hell in love with brothas. Since then I have not really been too open to dating others (anything other than brothas). So, why limit myself? If I really want to be considered open minded even if my preference is Black men. Why limit my options? There are white men that could be wonderful options if he is truly interested in me...genuinely so why not give him a chance or at least get to know him the same way that I would get to know him the same way that I would a black man?

Now on the reverse

They are not better and some of them ain't shit too. Folks have issues no matter what their race/color. I am not going on a hunt for a white man but if the opportunity presents himself, I may be open to him; After all I may make a new friend.

Either way, I love men and no matter black, beige or white - I like to admire them all and there are a few that make me wanna...

ladies, enjoy the eye candy....

Freckles Over and Out!!!

His Shallow "Potential" Point of My View

I was conversing with a man "friend" from my past. I use the term friend lightly but either way I dated him in high school. We were chatting and he shared that my weight was a minor issue for him since we had once been together.

[INSERT WHO SAID HUH? FACE HERE]

So of course I inquired as to what his issue was. For my own understanding of course. He went on to tell me that I am such a wonderful person but I have such “potential”. I had to laugh to keep from getting mad initially but asked him to elaborate. He went on to explain that with a little more work I will be where I need to be. I questioned that statement a bit as I had recently lost a good amount of weight but then again he hasn’t seen me as an adult either. The last time he saw me I was 19 and I am now 30. The conversation went on and he mentioned that somewhere along the way he thought that I had stopped caring and must of let myself go but if I needed motivation he would be there for me – DUDE WHAT?!

[INSERT WTF FACE HERE]

I kindly gave him my self esteem speech as so: I embrace the body I have and I do not look to be validated by anyone. I am not going to be as small as I was in high school again. I could be but I not working that hard right now. I am fine the way that I am with my healthy improvements and I may just not be for him and I appreciated his encouragement though.

[INSERT OUT LOUD LAUGH HERE]

Then he hit me with the independent woman crap which began to piss me of a bit but I wanted to understand where he was coming from because he may not be the only person that feels this way or be this shallow. So I remained open to the conversation.

[INSERT ANNOYED EYEROLL WITH MF YOU GOT YOUR MFING NERVE FACE HERE]

So, I kindly rebutted with: it has nothing to do with being an independent woman - I am just in a place of embracing who I am now and the body that I have now. That is all. I hear you and I respect your opinion. My potential is to be healthy and happy with who I am and what I look like. There are plenty of people that like me the way that I am. Either way my self esteem is what is important. If I can let go of some of this stress, I am sure the weight loss would be easier. I work out because it makes me feel good about myself not to look good for someone other than myself and anyone else would be an added bonus. Some people (men) think that I am good as I am as do I. Some like a thicker woman which seems to be what I am these days. I am not plus size by any means but I am thick. Can I lose more weight = yes. Do I have potential as you say = yes but I am consumed by it = NO! I love the woman that I am today. It doesn’t define me as long as I am healthy.

[INSERT PAT ON BACK HERE]

Our conversation continued and he inquired if I had stopped caring somewhere along the way again and hope that I got back on track because he know what I really am.

[INSERT AMAZED FACE HERE]

All of this to say that I am glad that I understand his shallow point of view and truly acknowledge that he is not the only man that feels this way or women. I am glad that I am goof place mentally so this conversation didn’t feed into my insecurities. After all, if I was truly blunt and malicious I would have gone for his insecurities or hit him with the no wonder you are going through a divorce. That would have been bitchy and totally uncalled for but it did cross my mind. Not to mention he has always been such a jealous natured person that lacked the ability to deal with a woman having an opinion that didn’t coincide with his or she being sexy, confident and/or both.  He has always had a narrow minded point of view on most subjects but I thought that was because he was a kid and he would possibly grow out of it as he traveled the world and grown up. I know these about him and some things never change. I suppose not. I saw a lot of what he showed me in him back then but never tried to change him. I accepted him as he was and with all of his flaws. There were things that were tolerated because there were so many other things that I like about him. It is a shame that he doesn’t see the shallow aspect in his approach to women. However, I will respect his opinion. He is completely entitled to like what he likes and feel the way that he feels. It’s like I said before people will show who they are and it is up to you to believe them.

[SHAKING MY HEAD HERE AND KINDLY GIVING THE MDDLE FINGER]

Thankfully all people (men) dont feel the same way and thankfully I have enough confidence in myself to not play into his insecuritites of what he believes I should be.  Especially since we will not be a "we" truly for sure not.  I am truly motivated and even told him thank you.  I am motivated to be sure to listen and let people be who they feel they need to be outside of me.  I am motivated and encouraged to be open to a mate that will accept me for who I am and not strictly for what I look like or to be so invested in my weight that he can not move past it.  I even motivated to get my ass up and go to the gym. 

[INSERT TWO FINGERS HERE AS I CONSIDER HEADING TO THE GYM]

thoughtful - thinking of him

There is always that one that you think about and no you have no damn business.  He was just oooooh...  the one that you hugged just a little too long.  The one that you had long meaningful conversations about all sorts of things.  The one that is off limits or is simply out of reach.  The one that has made you feel wonderful, put a twist in your hips with a lick of his lips.  He turns you all sorts of on and warms your areas.  He is that one. The one that you shouldn't, couldn't, can't, won't,  mustn't, better not... you get the picture.  However, there is something about your feelings.  The way he makes you feel when you are in the midst of a moment.  The way you smell him when he is not even around or hear his voice in you head.  The fantasies of I remember or I wish.  Damn, I miss him.

Freckles' 31 Flavors

I love ice cream. It can be soft served, scooped, on a cone or in a cup. It is pretty awesome that there are an abundance of flavors, textures and mixtures that have the power to makes you feel good when you are sad, comforts you when you are lonely and is even good no matter the weather. Ice cream is kind of like my sex and/ or temptation. Different people enjoy and pursue sex and ice cream in different forms and or flavors. While ice cream can be therapeutic, emotional, sexy, creative as well as tasty; Sex can be fulfilling, sweet, comforting when you are happy or sad and hopefully makes you feel satisfied unless you run across the wrong flavor – ugh!

You can never go wrong with Vanilla (1) though I would not proclaim it to be my favorite by any means but it’s always there is always the base or the standard. It is not as eventful or as exciting as some other flavors but is readily available. There are no additives or any real stimulation and I can generally take it or leave but when I have options it is definitely not my first choice. I think of vanilla as the accompanier of apple pie or peach cobbler or the standard sex. It is better than nothing but can be enhanced. There is always French Vanilla (2) or Vanilla Bean (3) which are slight spins on the standard. Since we are talking about vanilla, I am reminded of Mr. Cherry Vanilla (4) which is not one of my favorites but it was his. He would do this like that and I wanted to please all of his sweet desires….

However I have to say that I prefer my ice cream like I prefer my men = Chocolate (5) and there are so many varieties and complexions. There is Dark Chocolate (6) which is not too bitter, not too sweet or even milky. It’s simply about the pure sex chocolate. Chocolate Fudge (7) is a creamier more sensual spin on your standard chocolate and holds a little something extra underneath while his Gold Medal Ribbon (8) made me truly believe I was his number one. You see, it is something about a chocolate brotha with his vanilla appeal and caramel chemistry. It’s sweet and unlike anything else and kind of just works all together and made me feel the desire to be submissive or simply indulge to the center of my core with his Karamel Sutra (9) encircled with his chocolate chunks and my caramel cream. Ooooh... of course all good things in moderation but why not be obsessive after all ice cream should be sweet and creamy with Praline (10) one top or be seductively sultry like Fudge Brownie (11) but of course it should always…………….just…………………..taste………………real……………….good.

In college I got addicted to Coffee (12) but it was more the caffeine that kept me encouraged and up for those long nights but as I grew older I began to need a little more kick with some BAILEYS® Original Irish Cream (13). I was so gloriously smooth, so deliciously creamy, with that distinctive taste but he didn’t last very long which was not nearly as disappointing as that Rum Raisin (14) which isn’t really that bad but not exactly the warmth you expected and I was left with not much to say at all. However that Half Baked (15) kept me high and under his spell for a long time before college, after college and even until recently. I continually came back for more and more sugarasms. He was the perfect blend of vanilla with more chocolate combining chocolate chip cookie dough and fudgy brownie bits – sweetly delicious, richly delectable and always a surprise with each and every thrust spoonful. It was my guilty pleasure to scrape the corners and suck the spoon clean wiping my mouth when done. DAMN I LOVE his momma and daddy BEN & JERRY for that HIGH flavor.

For extra positions perks I like to refer back to Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup (16), Mocha Almond Fudge (17) and Marble Fudge (18) to keep it interesting after all chocolate is universal. Each in their own right special and too rich to have all the time although I like to be able to get some kind of Black Walnut (19) each and every time.

I like Rocky Road (20) but it is only really good with actual marshmallows otherwise it’s like sex without kissing. It is just not the same with the marshmallow swirl and most of us know that kissing is intimately involved but I love kissing. I am not a fan of Mint Chocolate Chip (21) but then again I am not into my toes being sucked either however to each their own. I know plenty of people that like both - although that Mr. Cherry Vanilla almost made me like mint chocolate chip…

There once was a man that offered to kiss every Chocolate Chip (22) on my body and venture into my Cookies n Cream (23). It sounded good but he reminded me of Chunky Monkey (24). The thought of walnuts and chocolate chunks made me wanna but they were no match for the banana. I am just not that into him the flavoring. I do enjoy the taste of Butter Pecan (25) but he is sometimes too old fashioned or simply missionary and can’t always be a lazy lay.

Rainbow Sherbet (26) is kind of childish like humping fully clothed for me but can be a bit more exotic with Pineapple Coconut (27) though sherbets’ speak more English. From time to time I have been known to love Strawberry Cheesecake (28) and of course the best place for cheesecake is up north on the East Coast. Damn, I like the accent of thick graham cracker against my strawberry swirl! I very fond of Strawberry Shortcake as well especially since its on a stick and I wanna ride.  However if I am feeling particularly frisky and have that special indulgence, I may give into a like it or love it sized Coldstone Creation with all my favorite mix-ins. Sometimes I just rather have it all my way with all the extra bells and whistles. The perfect amount of touch, luscious kisses, special suckings with lickings of my Mud Pie Mojo (29). Ooooooooooooooooh Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Sometimes it pays to just keep it smart with Strawberry (30) is kind of like a good thoughtful kiss with that significant someone. It is sweetly sensual and always remembered. Once blended and packaged with chocolate and vanilla it’s simply Neapolitan (31) which is actually sorta perfect.

What's your flavor?

NO LIFETIME PUSSY PASS FOR YOU (repost)

So what I told you that you were the love of my life and so what you are in my top 3 - you decided to walk out of my life and along with your exit was your pussy pass. So what I can recall almost ever unbelievable orgasmic service you provided and I told you were the best. Finally, so what I said that I would always be here. I meant it at the time but then I got tired and ALL of that went out the door. This pussy could have had your name on it whenever, wherever and however forever. Could have should have would have -You could have been but you were not man enough to be in it or have such privileges to stay up in it. I want a man that is man enough to be my man. So, you proved that you were not the man for me or hold onto the pass.

NO MORE PUSSY PASS FOR YOU!

and YES I mean that in the nicest most sincere way possible. It’s a negative for you buddy. I am no longer interested in the opportunity to have any parts of this body touched by you at this time. Your Pussy pass has been revoked. You had your opportunity and you did not man up when it counted. The thought of you no longer moistens my area. So, I am going to share this with you just this once and I hope that we do not have to have this conversation again anytime soon.After all this time that is all that we have - all this time. You didn’t hold the arrangement and it’s not all your fault. One minute you are there and consistent and you want to be there and its all good. Then something doesn’t go your way and you get mad and take a time out. Then you get over it and want back and I let you back in. After all, that dick was good. Then you want more and then you decide you want less. We can’t be this but you don’t want anyone else to hit it. And still I let you be there.

What’s your deal?

All the times of yes, yes and yes but when you get a no you forget all the times that I said yes. You should have known better. You should have realized and recognized. At this moment it is what it is but please do not feel that you have got it like that to come back after all this time. This here belongs to me and does not have you name on it no matter how good you think that you are. Though, I cannot take that from you. Boy, you had a stroke on you... mmmmmhmmmm.... high five to that but there is no more to you than that. You are a good dick. A good rise to the occasion keep my back arched, close my eyes and see the stars around me and know that the river does not run dry. A good thick dick. It is all that you are and that my dear that is not enough... anymore.

There has got to more.

I feel like those men that say that she is nothing more than a piece of good ass when my dick is hard and now I feel the same about you. All you are is good dick when I need to get one off but now I would much rather have B.O.B. There has got to be more to a man for me. Some sort of passion, ambition, motivation or a simple foundation. You cannot love the streets more than yourself forever baby, especially at this adult age.

At what point do you set those childish attributes behind you?When do realize that you can be more than a street thug? Don’t get me wrong - I don’t knock the hustle about you. In fact it is admired but when do you do something legit and keep your hustle as additional?I don’t get it. It’s hard to live straight but it can reap benefits. When do you recognize that you are more than that?

I can’t want more for you than you want for yourself and even though you said you were going to do be, you didn’t. I wanted to believe in you but you didn’t believe in you. I don’t want to stop you from being you but I have stopped being me to satisfy you. You have always been you and I am over you so, please continue being you and know that I am no longer available for any sort of interest. Truth is you were never really good for me and I was never really good for and we just need to remember what we use to do. It was good and it was such a ride.

So, please feel free to pass go, collect $200 and try not to go to jail. I am tired of playing this game and will opt out. One more thing before I go let me remind that your pussy pass is now null and void. All of your services have been declined. It has been revoked and it will not last lifetime.

You are the weakest link - goodbye!

Enjoy Your Piece – An Ode to THAT stupid Woman (Round II)

Hello, may I speak to Barbara Barbara, this is Shirley You might not know who I am But the reason I am calling you is because I was going through my Old man`s pockets this morning And I just happened to find your name and number

So woman to woman I don`t think it`s being anymore than fair To call you and let you know Where I`m coming from

Now Barbara I don`t know how you`re gonna take this But whether you be cool Or come out of a bag on me You see it doesn`t really make any difference

But it`s only fair that I let you know that The man you`re in love with He's mine

Woman to Woman – Shirley Brown

"HELLO BARBARA, THIS IS SHIRLEY I WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT THE MAN ... NOW WAIT A MINUTE SHIRLEY I'M A YOUNG WOMAN AND CAN'T AFORD TO ALL THE THINGS YOU DO FOR THIS MAN I DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB AND I CAN'T BUY HIS CLOTHES, PAY HIS CAR NOTES AND I SURELY CAN'T KEEP MONEY IN HIS POCKET BUT I CAN GIVE HIM WHAT HE NEEDS, WHEN HE NEEDS IT AND THAT'S ALL HE EXPECTS FROM ME" I CAN GIVE HIM LOVE FROM HIS WOMAN TO YOU THERE IS A THING OR TWO I'D LIKE TO SAY I DON'T CARE WHO CLAIMS THIS MAN I'M GONNA LOVE HIM IN A WAY ... WOMAN TO WOMAN HE SPENT LAST NIGHT WITH ME STAYED HERE CAUSE THIS IS WHERE HE WANTED TO BE FROM HIS WOMAN TO YOU I'VE GOT TO MAKE IT JUST PLAY AS I CAN SEEMS TO ME YOU'RE DOING TO MUCH FOR THE MAN FROM HIS WOMAN TO YOU THAT YOU BEGGING LOVING IT'S GIVING UP YOURSELF AND I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU I DON'T MIND SHARING IF YOU DON'T BOTHER ME I WON'T BOTHER YOU FROM HIS WOMAN TO YOU Barbara Mason – From His Woman To You

(The Response to Woman to Woman)

There is an epidemic of stupid women that feel the need to show off their piece of man. Oh you think you wanna fight? Bitch please, He isn't man enough for me. I wasn't the one but apparently you are… TAGE YOU'RE IT!

I once was a jealous of folks well let me scratch that – envious of people with seemingly perfect relationships. You see them out all happy and holding hands. They generally smiling and seem to have it together. There are even times when I have seen women with men and men with women and wondered why is he with her or why is she with him. Why? Why? Tell them that it is human nature. (shout out MJ and may he one day RIP) - It's human nature, which it is and I am sure that I am not the only one. I digress à As a single woman, I often thought about why I am single or what is it that I am not doing right. But to be honest, it's somewhat by choice. There are some things that I am not willing to deal with or do without in a relationship. I deserve an entire man not just a piece that I have to pay for. I once told my grandmother that I saw an old boyfriend out with his new girlfriend. They looked happy together and in my hater mode (yeah, I am being honest) I looked at her and she was cute but not as cute as me. My immediate thought was "wow, you want her instead of me huh? " I told my grandmother about what I had seen and joked that he wasn't this and I didn't like that. She in return laughed and then told me not to ever be jealous or envious of someone else's relationship because you don't know what they deal with to be with each other. I didn't understand at the time but as I have gotten older I now realize what she was talking about.

Now looking back at that conversation with my grandmother I am able to look at relationship situations with wiser eyes. I have seen women go through great lengths not to be alone. They go along with whatever and however in order to say "he's my man". As the song above, Shirley called Barbara to say hey I take care of him like he is my kid and not a grown ass man because I love him and Imma need you to back off heffa (truly summarizes but I am sure that you get the point). Then Barbara responds back and says girl, I can't do all that and he doesn't expect any of that from me but I love him and I am not trying to go anywhere but if you look the other way we gonna do what we do and you do what ya'll do and we gonna be cool (again summarized but you get the point). It makes me think – how much were they willing to put up with to have THAT man?

All I could come up with was he musta had a powerful, means, austitatious, perfect, perm sweating, back popping, toe curling, I must stretch before we get started ooooh…. well you were thinking the same thing. He musta because I just don't see going back and forth about a man that is only a PIECE of man to not only me but to you AND you take care of him. WOAH!!! I am all about support, love, encourage, uplift, treat, sex, contribute, caress, kiss, work, care, open, temptation, lust and all the rest of the fabulous adjectives that compile into a "wonderful" relationship but one word that does not fit is shared. I don't have the desire to share a man with any other woman. That is not what we should to be about. Nor do I feel the desire to take care of man that does not respect my care for him or my love. My love is to be valued and not mishandled. On the contrary I can't speak for another. I don't want a piece of man but to each her own.

How is your peace when you recognize that your piece has a side piece? How does it feel when you are no longer the only woman in his life. He dips out and has his fun. He has his girls on the side and relationships that becomes personal and intimate. Extremely intimate and very personal. You saw it all. The secret life of how he was with her. How turned on he was by her and all of your attributes. You went through it all. The pictures, videos and all the emails. Did you check the chat conversations too? I am sure that she could tell you how he likes it but I am sure that you read about it. Their escapades and many rendezvous. He was full into her on your dime. The trips and mini vacations. She was a part of his life and you watched silently for as long as you could. You spoke to her and she told you everything and still you hold on to your piece since she was not willing to settle. You keep him kept and at this point I almost can't be mad at him for saying whatever he said to stay your piece. How long do you participate in this love that is all of your own especially when he needs you more than you need him? He is missing in action doing his thing with someone other than you yet you hold on. It's no longer her but what makes you think that he'll be true to this time or there is not another. Why? Are you scared of being alone or do you feel like MOKENSTEF – he is yours, she may have had him once but you got him all the time? LOL!!! And yes I ask Why?

How much is enough? How much are you willing to sacrifice in order to have the piece of man? Take care of him. Let him live under your roof where you pay the mortgage, lights, water and gas. Let him eat your food that you buy. Take him on vacations that you pay for. This is not a huge deal to me but I do wonder how often do you look the other way? How often do you allow him to use and abuse you? I don't mean physically but emotionally and possibly mentally. This has to be an exhausting process to love someone that does not love you back they way that you want or deserve to be loved.

I say all this to say kudos and accolades to you. As Rihanna once said Take a Bow. This show was so entertaining and now I feel the desire to be sick (in fact I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit). What everyone seems to think looks good and full of black love isn't really all that great. However it looks good and that is quite a performance on your behalf. He is only being himself but you have to be an academy award winning actress to pull this shit off. It's sad that you don't feel your worth but hell you got a man and I don't so who am I to judge you. However I don't have a man or even a piece of man because I am worth more than a piece. But I sarcastically applaud you and all the women that feel the need to have a taste for shit and a piece of man long term. You all deal with deal with whatever in order to have a piece of man but hey they say someone else's trash is someone's treasure.

PEACE OUT - FRECKLES