I still WANT...

I want to be his friend, his lover and his confidant. I want him to feel as if he can talk to me about anything and everything. I want to him to know that sometimes there are no words needed and we can just be silent without it being a problem.  I want to there for him, encourage him and pray for him maybe even more than I pray for myself. I want to see the God in him as he in me.

 

I want a selfless kind of love. I want the kind of love that is worth fighting for. I want the kind that requires immediate and constant attention. I want the kind that makes you wanna disagree so that we can come to agree. I want the kind of love that is hard but doesn’t hurt. I want the kind of love that is full of passion and some pain. I want the kind that weathers the storm and keeps us focused.

I want love.  I want patience.  I want devotion.  I want passion and romance.  I want peace.  I want friendship.  I want kindness.  I want backbone.  I want communication.  I want good eye contact.  I want growth.  I want anticipation.  I want spontaneity.  I want fire and desire.  I want pleasure.  I want emotional, physical and mental penetration.  I want satisfaction.  I want compatibility and accountability.  I want respect and fidelity.  I want humor. I want sympathy/empathy and concern.  I want to be supported and taken care of.  I want balance.  I want to be wanted.  I want good, enjoyable and consistent sex often.   I want monogamy.  I want it all and it doesn't have to be in that order with even a little more.

I want to spend my life with him.  I want to be able to smell him when he’s not around and reach him when he is close. I want to wake up next to him and smile.  I want to be the one. I want to be the only.  I want to be the last thing on his mind.  I want to go to sleep in his arms almost every night.  I want to be able to feel his eyes on me from a distance.  I want to hug him as often as possible.  I want to kiss him. I want to be able to have moments where I touch him there and there and here and there and oh yes, right there.   I want us to cherish our time apart just so we can come together or even cum together.  I want it to feel like the first time each and every time or at least every 3rd, 4th or 5th time.   

I want to have the ability to miss him when he is away. Have the ability to grow when we are together. I want to be on the same page but be able to turn the page – together. I want to be able to set aside my issues and imperfections so there is enough room for him in my heart.  I want be able to understand him when the weight of the world is on his shoulders.  I want him to know that I am there to share some of the load.  I want him to know that he is never alone and that I will always be there as long as he allows me to be.  I want him to allow me to be.

I want to be able to complete his sentences.  I want to be his period, exclamation point and even his comma.  I want us to be poetry in motion. I want us to be more than a beautiful haiku, romantic sonnet or a smooth ballad. I want us to be the combined words that create something wonderful.

I want to be the melody in his tune and the inspiration of his art while being the motivation of his desires. I want him to know that I am in his corner (his front and his back).  I want to know that he knows that I am his #1 fan, his supporter and his encourager. I want to be the one that made him comfortable enough to stop being an I and want to be a “we”.

I want to continue to be patient until we cross paths. I want to continue working on being everything that he will need me to be for we.  I want to be the woman that God has intended me to be.  I want to know the moment when he realizes that I am his one.  I want to be his chosen one.  I want him to be confident in his choice.  I want him to be able to hear God when he says, I created her for you. 

I want to be able to wait for all that I want.  I want to be content with my expectations of want. I want to continue to learn more of what I want.  I want to not mind wanting...

Damn, this is a helluva want.