Friday, February 15, 2013

I still WANT...



I want to be his friend, his lover and his confidant. I want him to feel as if he can talk to me about anything and everything. I want to him to know that sometimes there are no words needed and we can just be silent without it being a problem.  I want to there for him, encourage him and pray for him maybe even more than I pray for myself. I want to see the God in him as he in me.
 
I want a selfless kind of love. I want the kind of love that is worth fighting for. I want the kind that requires immediate and constant attention. I want the kind that makes you wanna disagree so that we can come to agree. I want the kind of love that is hard but doesn’t hurt. I want the kind of love that is full of passion and some pain. I want the kind that weathers the storm and keeps us focused.

I want love.  I want patience.  I want devotion.  I want passion and romance.  I want peace.  I want friendship.  I want kindness.  I want backbone.  I want communication.  I want good eye contact.  I want growth.  I want anticipation.  I want spontaneity.  I want fire and desire.  I want pleasure.  I want emotional, physical and mental penetration.  I want satisfaction.  I want compatibility and accountability.  I want respect and fidelity.  I want humor. I want sympathy/empathy and concern.  I want to be supported and taken care of.  I want balance.  I want to be wanted.  I want good, enjoyable and consistent sex often.   I want monogamyI want it all and it doesn't have to be in that order with even a little more.

I want to spend my life with him.  I want to be able to smell him when he’s not around and reach him when he is close. I want to wake up next to him and smile.  I want to be the one. I want to be the only.  I want to be the last thing on his mind.  I want to go to sleep in his arms almost every night.  I want to be able to feel his eyes on me from a distance.  I want to hug him as often as possible.  I want to kiss him. I want to be able to have moments where I touch him there and there and here and there and oh yes, right there.   I want us to cherish our time apart just so we can come together or even cum together.  I want it to feel like the first time each and every time or at least every 3rd, 4th or 5th time.   

I want to have the ability to miss him when he is away. Have the ability to grow when we are together. I want to be on the same page but be able to turn the page – together. I want to be able to set aside my issues and imperfections so there is enough room for him in my heart.  I want be able to understand him when the weight of the world is on his shoulders.  I want him to know that I am there to share some of the load.  I want him to know that he is never alone and that I will always be there as long as he allows me to be.  I want him to allow me to be.

I want to be able to complete his sentences.  I want to be his period, exclamation point and even his comma.  I want us to be poetry in motion. I want us to be more than a beautiful haiku, romantic sonnet or a smooth ballad. I want us to be the combined words that create something wonderful.

I want to be the melody in his tune and the inspiration of his art while being the motivation of his desires. I want him to know that I am in his corner (his front and his back).  I want to know that he knows that I am his #1 fan, his supporter and his encourager. I want to be the one that made him comfortable enough to stop being an I and want to be a “we”.

I want to continue to be patient until we cross paths. I want to continue working on being everything that he will need me to be for we.  I want to be the woman that God has intended me to be.  I want to know the moment when he realizes that I am his one.  I want to be his chosen one.  I want him to be confident in his choice.  I want him to be able to hear God when he says, I created her for you. 

I want to be able to wait for all that I want.  I want to be content with my expectations of want. I want to continue to learn more of what I want.  I want to not mind wanting...

Damn, this is a helluva want.

5 comments:

1manview said...

I have found what you want, and it's a wonderful thing.
Just keep wanting, and one day love will be there for you.

peace and love
1Manview

Gorgeous_Puddin said...

That was deep girl. Well you've put it out into the universe so it has to come to you now. :)

Reggie said...

At least you have the advantage of knowing what you want. I can say the same thing, except I'd just substitute Kim for him.

Don said...

THIS is great, Freckles. I'm sitting here listening to Spotify and actually pressed pause as I began reading so I could receive the full effect of what you're written.

And I feel you.

I want fire and desire.

Gotta be filled with fire and desire. Wholeheartedly agreed.

Freckles said...

Thanks Gorgeous_Puddin - I have hopeful and anticipating.

Reggie, Thanks. You are so blessed to have an insertion. thats awesome.

Don, Sometimes you have to let your piece be still and receive the message. Thank you for reading and truly receiving. Feel my flow.

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