Friday, June 18, 2010

Single in This City (LA): WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?

Why are you single?
Shit dude, I don’t know

Once Upon a time I said it’s just not my turn but after further review it may be that
I have not met a man that is man enough to be my man.
Please do not take me out of context. I am not attempting to low key derogatory at all. It is a simple statement that makes some men instantly defensive. I try to not offend folks but I am also entitled to feel how I feel. So let me explain a bit.
At this point in my life, I am very much in tune with my strengths and my weaknesses. I know my flaws and some of them I am working on and some of them I am not. Just being honest. Very rarely, am I able to hear someone tell me something about me that I do not already know about myself. I pretty much know when I am as wrong as two left shoes and what is worth fighting for. I believe in picking my battles and making sure that I am heard. All this to say, I have a strong personality and a strong disposition. I have some old school attributes. I respect my role as a woman. I have been through some character building experiences that have blessed me to be comfortable in my own skin. I understand where I come from and I trust God to guide me where I am going. I understand and believe that there is a divine order in life – check your guide to life (The Bible, of course).
I need a man that is all of the above too. I need a man that will be strong where I am weak and want pull me up – vice versa. I need a man that loves himself enough to love me. One that loves the concept and work that love has to offer. He should want to take care of me – not only financially but spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. One that is secure in his role as a man and all that it entails. He should want to be the head and not the tail. He should want to be my man and eventually my husband. I need a man that has a backbone, zest and zeal. He should be ambitious and not desire to be complacent. He should truly want to be a we with me. I should be able to encourage him, uplift him and motivate him to be a better man for not only me but for himself. I should be able to be his best friend and his lover. He should feel the divine order of our existence and want to be together through all of life’s trials and tribulations and be able to be thankful for it all not only when it is good. He should believe in God and want to pray for me and with me. 
  • I am single because that man has not been sent to me from the Creator just yet but I know he is coming. I am single because I choose not to settle for less than I am entitled to for the sake of having someone.
  • I am single because I am whole and complete without one though I would love to have one that perfectly created just for me.
  •  I am single because he hasn’t found me yet.
I meet men all the time and everywhere. I generally like to go with the flow. No pressure and a little pleasure. Take the time to get to know someone and feel them out. Spend some time and learn each other. I don’t immediately go for the lockdown conversation nor do I continually bring up commitment. I like for it to just happen mutually and on its own timing. Again, No pressure. Let’s just enjoy the ride. Let’s enjoy some beer, chicken wings and possibly some football. CHILLAX! Then I get, you are so cool. I didn’t know you were so cool. I am not ready for a relationship. It’s complicated. In my head it doesn’t have to be. Then there is a need for a break. However the next women, is apparently the right one and he is ready. I again have made a man wonderful for someone else. It’s frustrating. One man even said thank you. Thank you for what??? But whatever. He wasn’t meant for me and that is ok.
Please do not misunderstand me again, I am not complaining and I am so not a woman scorned or any of that. I just see things in a realistic sense. I am ok with being single. There are some things that I prefer not to deal with. I like that I am able to come and go as I please. I love that I am able to feel up my closet with as many shoes as possible with no regards to sharing any of the space. As a friend once said, I love that I can clap my hands when Cameo says Single Ladies Clap Your Hands.


★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Well if this post doesn't describe everything that I've wanted to say but I haven't! I love this quote: "I am single because that man has not been sent to me from the Creator just yet but I know he is coming. I am single because I choose not to settle for less than I am entitled to for the sake of having someone." and just as you have written, I am single because he has not found me yet. I always tell others that he's knocking on the wrong doors and has yet to get to mine....but I know he's out there. I have faith that he will come to me one day. And you do NOT sound like a woman scorned but just a writer sharing a viewpoint. A good viewpoint at that! Great post girl!

Miss.Stefanie said...

This was such an excellent view point...

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

I love this. It's so good when women realize that being single is not some sort of punishment or handicap. If more of us would relax and let relationships progress naturally, it would reduce a lot of the heartbreak and drama.

Freckles said...

Thanks Starrla, Miss Stefanie and UglyCleanBroke87...

Single is the new Sexy. However I hope not to be single forever but I know I will not be. LOL.

As always thanks for reading ladies.

Anonymous said...

I actually did a post about what I look for in a man and still haven't found it. Until I do find it, I'll continue to be single.

Freckles said...

I dont have a list but at this point I can spot what I dont want and exit stage left. LOL

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