I write to free my mind and get things off my chest. I write because its my passion. I write to say things that I may not have the opportunity to say otherwise. I write to have an outlet so that I don't keep things in my heart and my mind. I write to allow myself to be free of whatever it is that ia holding me. Sometimes my thoughts hold me hostage so sometimes I just have to let go.
At this moment I am still trying to find my place, my purpose and my opportunity to find love. At this moment I need to let go and to be completely honest I do not really want to. I am totally and invested and my heart still appreciates but something has changed. We changed, you changed, I changed – minds were changed. Changed with no regard for care, understanding or completion. It's just out there floating in all limbo tangled in my heart. No communication, no understanding and no closure. My emotions are now holding me hostage. They keep me holding on to a possibility. A possibility to love and here I am holding on.
I am not angry but I am disappointed. After all you entered my life unexpected and encouraged some feelings that I was not immediately familiar with in regards to relationships. You restored that faith and cultivated my desire and my creativity. Restored faith to deterred faith - Brotha whatta shame. You were suppose to be what you claimed to be. Be the man that was presented. You were not suppose to be afraid or coward out. You were suppose to be different. Not because I wanted you to but because you said you were and all a man has is his word. I didn't want to give up on you but I think that I need to let go.