Saturday, June 12, 2010

Platonic Persona: The Friend Zone

Personable, honest male friend wanted. Must be cool, laidback, able to have an intelligent conversation, shoot the shit, sometimes listen, sometimes play and be confident/ comfortable being in the friend zone.

The friend zone is often a difficult place to be for some (possibly most) but I do think that it's possible. I would like to believe men and women can be friends, even if one may be interested in the other. In my case, sometimes my flirtatiousness, my friendly spirit comes across to be more than intended. My free natured conversation upon all subjects is too available to be misunderstood. So, sometimes it is may be unintentionally my fault but that doesn't change what it is or the situation (friendship).

Pla·ton·ic (pl-tnk, pl-)

Pure, passionless; nonsexual; philosophical.

[1913 Webster] via


I treat my male friends differently than my "interest". After all it is a different relationship. After all they are not the same man. I have a clear understanding of them both and how they differ as should my platonic person but just so we are clear and on one accord, let me just say this.

I would like to believe that men and women can be friends. Even if one may be interested in the other. It's often one of those inevitables but there should be a mutual respect and understanding of each other's roles as friends. This is only begins to be complicated when one of the friends crosses the line or goes too far. When this happens the other has to reinforce the roles and/or FULLY remind the status.

So, this serves as a reminder. I laugh off and attempt to ignore all the advances, sexually repressed remarks, minor strolls down memory lane, daydreamed innuendos, fantasized opportunities or attempt at unchartered territories, direct/ indirect statements and backboned try me's. To be completely blunt – I am mildly flattered bordering annoyed which compromises my current perspective of some. I ONLY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND with NO IN CASE OF EMERGENCY STATUS – NO INTIMATE RELATIONS OF ANY SORT AT ALL. Being the understanding woman that I am, I understand that no one (myself included) wants to be immediately put into the friend zone or hear "we should just be friends" but sometimes it is what it is.

A very close male friend that a woman has.

Their relationship is strictly "just friends" and usually never involves anything sexual.



Somewhere along the way, John made a wrong turn and slipped into the friends zone by not making a sexual move on Cindy.

Joe: "Do you know what a platonic friend is to a woman?"
Max: "No"

Joe: "A dick in a glass case. In case of an emergency, BREAK GLASS"

Dude, I'm just not into you like that or better yet in that way. Its ok – well it is suppose to be ok, right? We are supposed to just be friends and we are supposed to have an understanding of our roles. You know what this is. We are cool. We enjoy each other's company, laugh, shoot the shit, and watch some sports and possible have some drinks. Just the normal guy/girl things that do not involve any intimacy of any sort at all. I do not like being mean and prefer not to carry the label of bitch but really wanted to let some know where I am coming from so that we may be able to move forward.


We are only ever going to be platonic.



S Jones Aka Shirley said...

Yea Preach Gurl. I Agree With You, A Man And A Woman Can Definitely Be Friends Without Taking Things To The Next Level. One Person Usually Always Has More Feelings Than The Other (Romantically) But The Level Headed Person Has To Always Remember To Pump The Breaks.

Lmao @ Dick In A Glass Case.....What I Wud Find Hard Is Telling The Person "Sorry Sweetie I'm Not Interested In You" Because More Than Likely They Are Hopeful They Can Grow On You And You'll Fall In Love, Have A Happy Ending Etc. Etc. (Thats A Problem) But Gosh What If I Don't Like You Like That?!? You Are Not Being A B*tch For Keeping Things 100 Freckles...Ur Actually Saving The Brother From Being Let Down Or Feeling Like His Emotions Are Being Toyed With.

Miss.Stefanie said...

This was a GREAT post!

Freckles said...

Shirley Girl, you are so hilarious but so right on. I love that my blog post to FB so that I can tag all those male friends that dont get it. LOL!!!

Thanks Miss Stefanie.

Anonymous said...

Just stopping by to say i love this post and thanks for the follow.


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