Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Single In This City (LA): The Open Door Policy

Tall enough to climb with broad shoulders attached to big arms and thick enough to hold all of me but those lips… Ooooh his lips – full, moist and immediately seemed sweet to my taste buds (+5). My mouth watered. His hat hung low and initially all I could see was his lips and then he walked all the way up on me. As he looked down at me, his eyes smiled as he put a toothpick in his mouth looking me over. I watched and did the same discreetly behind my shades. I made a quick step back to check out his shoes and they were cool but I preferred better but he was workable nonetheless which was confirmed by the moistened reaction below (+10). He could get it, went through my mind as I looked him in his babied face. I immediately asked, “How old are you?”
He replied, “27. How about you?"
I stated that I was 30 and he said, “Really? I’m cool if you cool."
I nodded as he pulled out his phone. I gave him my number and went on my way with desire for him to call. I felt him watch me walk away and I made it quite the show.

Met him on a Wednesday, played phone tag, conversed briefly and made double date plans for Saturday day which was cool (+5) especially since we were doing this you bring your friend and Imma being my friend thing. We met up at his friend’s house for the adult double, exchanged casualties and prepared to depart. We (my friend and I) agreed to ride with them and be in this together. You know folks are crazy these days and you should always proceed with caution. We all walk over to the car and I stood in front of the door as we all were conversing. His friend opened the door to let my friend in the car and he jumps in the car (-5) leaving me to let myself in the car. I made eye contact with my friend and mouthed point deduction and we laugh under our breaths. He looked around and curiously smiled. I think it went over his young head. Once we arrive at the outdoor center and parked, I look over at my friend but her dude was already opening her door and I’m sitting there and again have to let myself out (-10). His friend jokingly called him out on not getting my door and he chuckled saying damn my bad while looking at me. I looked back with a short smile and thought to myself – This has to get better but of course you know better than to date a youngster. Realistically there is not much of a difference between his 27 to my 30 but the mentality.

We all agreed upon a movie and he got our tickets. As we continued to converse we walked up to the door and he opened it right away (+5). He carried himself as a gentleman until we got seated apart from our friends. I watched him look me over and do his best not to rub on me as he passed provocative compliments. Honestly, I enjoyed this part which confirmed that my preparation was not in vein. I made sure that my legs looked right. The weather cooperated with a sista and made it possible to wear a short summer dress which encouraged me to maintain all the hair while moisturizing with natural Shea butter for good shine in my 3 ½” stilettos. Not to mention I am continually thankful for 15 years of Track and Field. Every time he reached I made sure to blushingly let him know that it would cost him and if I was lucky it would have paid off but that is a totally different post. The cost wasn't necessarily be financial but again I think that went over his head (-2). The conversation was kind of minimal but what was said was not all that inspiring. He managed to share that he wasn’t really working (-2), had two small children under the age of two (-2) and he was between cars (which translates to not having a car (-2) and the reasoning behind this adult double. But even still he had a little something to him that would allow me to look past ALL of these flaws just so that I could get me piece. I had already decided that he didn’t have long term potential but his youth could be fun and damnit I wanted some - again that's another post for another time. We watched the movie and he fed me some sound good  lines that actually worked in his favor (+3).  They were beneficial for what they were sound goods and I needed to feel as if giving him the goods would be ok but when walked out of the theater I noticed that he wasn't really walking with me so I slowed my stroll as we approached the door and he opened it, went through it and then held it open for me to come through (-2). In my head I said, damn dude, you really don’t know how to do and what kind of broads you have been dating – ugh! I’m so not them and I need you to get this together. Gee, you are making it really hard for me to make giving you some be ok. So, as we walked to the car we carried some pointless conversation and I decided to mention the open door policy in a softer yet firmly provocative tone making reference to his point deductions. We laughed and he made sure to open the car door this time (+2). Good Job.

In a later conversation he stated that opening the door for a chick was not something he was use to doing but respected that I was different from the chicks that he had been use to dating. He liked that I was a lady and it made him want to treat me as such but it wasn’t something sure if he would want to do it all the time. I explained to him that it was courteous and it spoke volumes to me. Not too mention you never know how you will be rewarded in the long run. There will be more about Mr. 27 because there was more to this date.

To some this is not an issue nor is it a big deal or deal breaker but for me it is all the above. In my heart I believe that chivalry can only die if I decide to let it. It is one of those small things that count for so much and I like to be treated chivalrously. I do acknowledge that some are not taught and it may not be a part of who they are. I also acknowledge that mothers/fathers are younger therefore grandmothers/grandfathers are younger. They are not generationally in tune with courtship or may not have an appreciation for roles of man and woman and yes there are roles. However at some point, we cannot allow our respect for one another change just because society says that this is not necessary. I believe that we should hold ourselves in higher regard than that. WE should all be a bit more courteous and respectful. Even if it’s different and not your norm. There is something to say about some traditions and some should remain but it is mainly about etiquette for me as far as the door is concerned. A man opens my car door to let me in and in return I reach over and open his door. It’s just how it should go. It is what I am accustomed to taking place. It is in my upbringing. I saw my grandfather almost always do it for my grandmother and my father almost always do it for my mother. Sure, I can open my own door but I am not too independent to allow a man to be a man either. I want and expect it to be done for me too. Am I being unreasonable? Help me out!


Folami said...

I feel you, Girl. I expect my door to be opened. I am a lady and I treat the man I'm with like he is a man. It's interesting, men say they want a lady but, don't realize that they have to step up and be gentlemen. Just like you said, chivalry will not die unless we let it.

JStar said...

AMEN to this one girl!!! You HAVE to deman respect!!!

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

I feel you on this. You'd be surprised how rude some guys can be without even realizing it. Opening doors is something my mom has made sure my younger brother learned as a child and to this day he still gets compliments from females that are so impressed with that one gesture. Some men don't realize just how much further they could get if they did something so simple.

Citizen Ojo said...

I'm reading this like I need to get some popcorn and a drink... how you gonna show the shoes but not the outfit? I'm on the edge of my seat here!!! ha ha ha

Freckles said...

Folami, thanks for visiting and yes girl, Iwill not let it die on my watch especially as it relates to me.

Jstar, sometimes but that is not the battle I want to fight but will if I have to.

UglyCleanBroke87 - I was truly surprised as I am not accustom to this being a problem so when it was it caight me off guard.

Citizen, My dear friend. I was going to post the fit but I like to leave and element of imagination. I am fairly certain that yours works. Please pass the popcorn thank you.

likbutta129 said...

I definitely feel ya one this one. I truly believe in it but most guys I've dated never opened my door and one's that do get major brownie points;-)

Citizen Ojo said...

I will now be passing you the popcorn and trying not to get butter on your summer dress......

Freckles said...

Please do not get any butte ron my dress.

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