Monday, September 14, 2009

K.I.S.S.I.N.G – how do you feel about it?

boy and girl
sitting in a tree
Well you know how it goes.

I mean what happened to chivalry and courting and hell walking a girl home from school. What happened to long conversations on the phone and the 10 minute game of no you hang up? What happened to the anticipation of the kiss or a fantastic tongue kiss?
Kiss: the act of caressing with the lips (or an instance thereof) to touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc. To engage in mutual touching or caressing with the lips.
We all learn to peck early. We peck our parents, siblings and other family members. We even go to school and peck as a child however then very innocent. I am more so referring to your first passionate kiss. The kind where your heart beats fast, palms get sweaty and at any moment you may quite possibly faint. The kind of anticipation that is filled with desire to connect and curiosity to feel. It is simple and sweet. Do you remember your first real kiss?

His name was Marshall and he was a tall, chocolate toned boy with full BIG lips. He well known, liked and somewhat experienced from what I heard. He was the youngest of 5 boys will several male uncles and what I thought to be the finest father EVER. I heard from a few that he was interested but he liked to kiss (using his tongue). At that time I hadn’t been “experienced” but I wanted to try. We passed notes and made a plan to kiss after we got off the bus when he walked me home. As we walked home we made small talk and finally made it to my street. The nerves hit me and I could feel me breaking a panic sweat. I tensed up and got anxious. He pulled me close, gently pushed my chin up and guided my lips toward his. As I closed my eyes and gave into him I felt the world disappear and his full lips covered too much of my mouth and part of my nose. I didn’t want to pull back but I needed to breath. It was wet, juicy, lots of tongue movement and head wiggling. Realistically it was messy and I panicked that I wasn’t doing this right and available breath was escaping since his lips blocked all passages. I was instantly overwhelmed but hesitated to pull away immediately but I had to ASAP. His soup coolers were trying to suffocate me and I took a deep breath both of anxiety and relief. He smiled and then pecked me quickly and jogged a way stating that he would see me tomorrow. It was kind of goofy and it didn’t feel like TV. I smiled and went on in the house. We kissed every day after school for the next 2 weeks. After that I thought I was a pro and that I was a sucker for chocolate brothas with full lips but I love lips all together. Do you remember you first kiss?  What was it like?
From then on I often looked forward to that first kiss from a new boyfriend or steady Eddie. It was almost always planned or in a secluded private area. It was in hallways, parks, backyards, behind school building or in pathways between houses. It was nice and innocent. From then on out I loved kissing. It was my sex. It was my intimacy. It was special.

As I got older, kissing got better and then leads to other things but there is still kissing. It is has always been special, sensual, passionate and some the most intimate sexy.  It's the thing to for to do to get the party started.   All of this to say, that I love kissing. I love all aspects of the kissing. I like the anticipation of the action, the actual action and how it makes me feel.  I love that a man that kisses genuinely and it can allow me to melt in his hands.  I like that feelig that makes your body change while erasing all the worries of your heart.  There is no discrepency about it.  I love kissing and sometimes would rather it that any sex (oral or otherwise.  Folks have lost that dynamic.  In fact it seems that some would rather have sex than kiss which is strange to me.  I understand but it just seems that if you kiss someone that you may be able to forgo that not so adequate sex because you can feel what's lacked but hey that is apparently my aged way of thinking.  To Kiss or Not Kiss was generally not a question until recently. 
I asked a few friends (via facebook)
Is kissing more intimate than sex
and here is some of what they said…
“Kissing is more intimate than sex to can disconnect mentally from sex.”
“Kissing trumps sex with regard to intimacy by far. even though neither should be done all willy nilly.”
“Kissing is more intimate, but sex for most forms that emotional attachment… for most I say....for most”
I agree.  Kissing is more intimate than sex but should it be?  I like them both but they are so much better together.  When did it happend that you should have one with without the other (sex without kissing)?  Why are we so available to for sex without the perk of kissing? 
There was a time when that is what you did. You kissed and necked for as long as possible. You got hickies and wore then as not so honorable badges of lust. There was a time when it was big a deal to rub a breast, a nipple and slow grind while kissing. There was lustful heat and emotional desires but making out was the way to go as a kid (teen). The that wonderful kissing slowly moved below the mouth… (but that is an entirely other conversation for another time). I guess I don’t know when the times changed. I didn’t see when it all shifted to some sort of sex immediately surpassing the initial kissing action. I didn’t see the tide change – when did it happen?


Black Pearl said...

Love this post!! Thank you for swinging by my page. I have a whole poem dedicated to the different levels of kissing. I know for a fact the art of kissing is lost on many, many, many men...including my husband. But hey, each one, teach one, right?

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

I believe kissing can make or break a situation! It's a huge deal to me and since I put so much into kissing a guy, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO! And for him to not know what he's doing....SMH! Kissing is the spark that starts the fire.

Jotwice said...

Kissing Can Take you to a nother WORLD IF ITS DONE RIGHT Cool Blog Check Out Mine

the.kisser said...

i soooo love kissing! for me, it's more intimate and exhilarating than sex. a good kissing session and a dry hump is sometimes enough to make me climax.

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