Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Dear Heartache

Dear Heartache,
You made a fool of me.  Allowed me to feel so many amazing things at one point and then took it all away to make me feel broken alone and defeated.  I don’t like to play games and cannot fathom the reason as to why you felt the need to play with my heart and complicated my emotions.  My heart was so fragile and my emotions confuse my logic. 
Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.  The laughter of pain is a tearful shame.  The shame fills up the pain of the heart and wounds the soul.  The hurt turns to anger that soon exacerbates the stomach’s pit. Constant tears drained night after night in an attempt to purge the array of emotions that consume the spirit that was once full of happiness.  Attempting to make sense of that has transpired to brought to this point to be engulfed you and this heartbreak.  The crying doesn’t heal and doesn’t fix the void you have caused.  You, heartache, promote so much pain.
Hurt, anger, confusion, mild rage, sadness brings me closer to you.  Wishing not to hold onto you in my dreams and move past your selfish intentions to hold me captive.  I want to believe this not forever and that one day moving forward and past will bring light to the end of this dark tunnel.   
I slowly feel you unwrapping me and leaving me apart and alone.  All these emotions at once, completely numb with no way to run.  The desire for you to go away is so real and unshakable at the same time.  Yearning for the love but we keep bumping into you like this.  Not able to shake you and frustration settles your deep ache and continual burn.

I refuse to give into you.  You will not continue to consume me.  I have faith and favor.  I have belief in the great good and will depart from you.  I just have to hope for better.  It can happen and it will.  I will be stronger and you will not last always. 
Goodbye Heartache

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