In my fantasies, love is supposed to feel more than wonderful. Full of warm fuzzy feelings and fireworks of chemistry. It’s supposed to be mutual without limitations or boundaries. It lasts through good days and bad days. Days that I can’t stand him and he may not like me. It’s laughter and tears. It is incomplete sentences, conversational looks, inside jokes and confirmed l high fives. Love is improperly improper, sometimes weird and a little immature.
Realistically, Love isn’t always patient and not always kind but it is understanding and filled with compromise. It’s special, sweet and sometimes sexy. It is intimate kisses, sensual touches and comforting hugs. Love is honor and loyalty. It is simple truth and alternative facts. It is trust and friendship. Love is compiled of long walks, long talks upon a multitude of subjects and simply enjoying each other’s company. Love is two imperfectly whole people uniting into completion.
In my fantasies, love is supposed to be open to the possibilities and potential excitement about the future. It is the desire to be in his space and he invading mine. It is being relaxed in my skin and being ok with him seeing me not always being at my absolute best. It’s being mindful of what’s said while trying to articulate what is being felt. Love is not always being right and being ok with no ego. It is powerfully courageous, constantly growing and deeply devoted with our devotion to spiritually cover each other solidifying that our team is solid with the Most High lighting our path. It is some doubt mixed with some curiosity and always acknowledging the love.
In my fantasies, love is truly knowing without a doubt that he loves me in spite of me, my flaws and even my petty. He loving to be in my presence and hold me close, and I wanting to be as close as much as possible. Love is quality time with each other and families as well as friendship introductions. Love is his relationship with my mother, my family and friends that have become family. Love is his dedication to know them and love their love for me and then us as a unit. Love is me not having children and embracing his as my own. Love is peace and prayer with his ability to read me scripture and relate it to us. Love is praying over that point of scripture together as we converse about our forever. It is knowing that He leads us and covers our union. Love is praying for him prior to meeting him and seeing God bless me with the desire of my heart. Love is scriptures written to be read. Love is Ruth to Boaz.
In my fantasies, love is not knowing how much I needed him until he entirely gave me his heart and in spite of my “independence” acknowledging that we all have a past. It is surrendering my being with no regret. It is being careful who I share my soul with but being able to recognize the God in him to exhale. Love is being consciously aware and him mentally taking me there. Love is being free to be vulnerable with him and knowing that it is respected, protected and appreciated. It is that I know that he is willing to teach but more importantly willing to learn. After all nobody knows it all. Love is genuinely knowing without a shadow of doubt that I am his chosen one and only as well as the end all be all. It is never questioning how he feels and always acknowledging that God’s love, grace and mercy is our foundation.
Love is recognizing that my fantasy has become my reality. I am so in love and he loves me back. I have waited, not always patiently, for the right kind of love from the right man that was truly meant to be man enough to love me and still be the man. I couldn’t imagine that love could be so wonderful and such a blessing to my existence and I am truly looking forward to loving us and keeping the fantasy alive.
***Cues up LOVE ALL OVER ME by Monica ***