Random Relationship Rant - To Him...

I assumed that we were better than that and I of all people were worth more than from you after all of this time.  I assumed that we had both grown up and matured.  we had lived from life which brought us to the point of wanting to be in each others presence again after all this time.  I thought we were becoming the friends that we weren't before of course while we were kids.  

I thought. I hoped. I believed.

I listened to you and even gave into the fantasy of you.  Not because I held some vengeful vendetta against you but because the woman that I am now would be awesome to you.  You were so many of my first and I thought and hoped and believed.  

I enjoyed our conversations and the possibilities.  Then you got distant and you changed.  You didn't say anything.  you flaked. you picked a fight with me. you sabotaged. I thought that we were better than that.  We were suppose to be better than that after all this time.  You could have said anything to me. You should have just said it was a game or that it went too far. I expected you to keep it real with me after all this time, I expected you to be better to me this time. I hoped that we would have had a real moment together.  I expected and was disappointed.

It is like not having any closure... again.  I can wish but now I just want you to know how i feel. you do whatever you do with it or not. 

just know that I wish nothing but the best for you and there will always be a part of me that will love you.