Merry 38 (It's my birthday)

So, It's my birthday and I cannot help but to have mixed emotions caressing my brain.  The last

couple of months have been a lot of transition and change which are not really there same things. There are levels to these emotions.  Serious Levels.

I am so blessed and I truly do not want to take any moment for granted or not be ever so appreciative to all the wonderful things that have transpired.  I am married to one of the dopest and he is so in love with me.  It is really rather awesome and it is all that I have every truly wanted.  Being able to know that God is so real has been fantastical.  I never would have been ready before now.  He definitely readied this man just for me.  I actually married before 49 too.  #winning

However I cannot ignore the emptiness that is still a present reality.  I miss my family and my breezies.  The breezies are my hometown crew.  The friends that have truly become family.  They are the women that I have spent my birthday with for the last few years and the women that have had my back (for the most part).  My loves, my companions and my _____.  It had been quite the transition without them.  We all lived fairly close and very convenient. Not too mention, I tend to have the best functions with them all included.  They all seemed to assist wherever. It is just different but it is not in the wrong way.  It is all just very different and I am not completely sure how to handle all of these feelings.  It is truly a conflict.

i am so blessed to make it here.  I am in such a different season and there has been some real adulting happening but I am so grateful to be able to go through life with him.  I am thankful to be his wife and his friend.  We had a birthday drink at  midnight.  We sat back and talked and hella laughed.  It was so simple yet to special.  We are so cool.  We just chill.  I love that about us and just really having a friend in my boo.  It feels real good.

I am grateful to look back upon life and see the growth that has transpired.  I am a good woman with room to grow but I am a good woman nonetheless.  I am a good friend, sister, daughter and wife even stepmother (I will revisit this at some point).  i am proud of the woman that I am striving to become.  It is pretty cool.

I do not have too many plans today but I figure that i am going to go to dinner but we are planning a little function this weekend to celebrate which is definitely something to look forward to.  A time to be able to be social and possibly see some folks that I haven't had an opportunity to see since I have been back.  There are some faces that I am looking forward to seeing and hope that they show up.  We shall see.  Ia m trying to muster some excitement.

Cheers to 38...